INSURANCE, FIRE
THE MAN OF LAW—"But, my dear madam, there is no insurance money for you to draw. Your late husband never insured his life; he only had a policy against fire."
THE WONDERFUL WIDOW—"Precisely. That is the very reason I had him cremated!"
A woman, wearing an anxious expression, called at an insurance office one morning.
"I understand," she said, "that for five dollars I can insure my house for a thousand dollars."
"Yes," replied the agent, "that is right."
"And," continued the woman anxiously, "do you make any inquiries as to the origin of the fire?"
"Certainly," was the prompt reply.
"Oh!" and she turned to leave the office, "I thought there was a catch in it somewhere."
"I say, Jones, I want to insure my coal-yards against fire. What would a policy for $20,000 cost?"
"What coal is it? Same kind as you sent me last?"
"Yes."
"I wouldn't bother insuring it if I were you. It won't burn."
When the agent brought Mrs. Tarley her fire-insurance policy he remarked that it would be well for her to make her first payment at once.
"How much will it be?" she asked.
"About $100. Wait a minute and I'll find the exact amount."
"Oh, how tiresome!" she exclaimed. "Tell the company to let it stand and deduct it from what they will owe me when the house burns down."