INVESTMENTS
SMITH—"I see stocks took a drop."
JONES—"Took a drop? I should say they took the whole bottle."
No one should have to coax you into any investment. It either looks good to you or it doesn't. You either want it or you don't. But be sure you are influenced by facts alone.
"Goodness is the only investment that never fails."—Thoreau.
"Time is money," said Uncle Eben; "but jes' the same, de man dat finds himself wif a lot o' time on his hands has made a poor investment."
"Sir, this is a golden opportunity! Small investment, no risk, and enormous returns absolutely sure."
"Then I wouldn't have the heart to deprive you of it."—Life.
THE SUITOR—"I hope, sir, that you will consider me in the nature of an investment, even if I may not pay regular dividends."
THE GIRL'S FATHER—"My dear boy, don't talk of dividends. I shall be glad if you don't levy regular assessments on me."—Life.
TOMMY—"Father, what's the future of the verb 'invest'?"
FATHER (a Congressman)—"Investigation."