KISSES
Jack disliked being kissed. One day he had been kissed a lot. Then, to make matters worse, on going to the picture-palace in the evening, instead of his favorite cowboy and Indian pictures there was nothing but a lot more hugging and kissing. He returned home completely out of patience with the whole tribe of women.
After he had been tucked into bed mother came in to kiss him good-night.
He refused.
Mother begged and begged, till in disgust he turned to his father, who was standing at the doorway, looking on, and said:
"Daddy, for heaven's sake, give this woman a kiss!"
People who throw kisses are mighty near hopelessly lazy.
"If you kiss me again," declared Miss Lovely firmly, "I shall tell father."
"That's an old tale," replied the bold, bad young man. "Anyhow, it's worth it," and he kissed her.
Miss Lovely sprang to her feet. "I shall tell father," she said and left the room.
"Father," she said softly to her parent when she got outside, "Mr. Bolder wants to see your new gun."
"All right, I'll take it to him," said her father, and two minutes later he appeared in the doorway with his gun in his hand.
There was a crash of breaking glass as Mr. Bolder dived through the window and departed in all haste for the railway station.—Judge.
Before introducing Lieutenant de Tessan, aid to General Joffre, and Colonel Fabry, the "Blue Devil of France," Chairman Spencer, of the St. Louis entertainment committee, at the M. A. A. breakfast told this anecdote.
"In Washington, Lieutenant de Tessan was approached by a pretty American girl, who said:
"'And did you kill a German soldier?'
"'Yes,' he replied.
"'With what hand did you do it?' she inquired.
"'With this right hand,' he said.
"And then the pretty American girl seized his right hand and kissed it. Colonel Fabry stood near by. He strolled over and said to Lieutenant de Tessan:
"'Heavens, man, why didn't you tell her that you bit him to death.'"
According to Dr. Bramer, the savages of Brumari Island never kiss each other. Judging by their photographs, we don't blame them.
A girl was asked to explain why men never kiss each other, while women do. She replied:
"Men have something better to kiss; women haven't."
A kiss is a peculiar proposition. Of no use to one, yet absolute bliss to two. The small boy gets it for nothing, the young man has to steal it, and the old man has to buy it. The Baby's right, the Lover's privilege, the Hypocrite's mask. To a young girl, faith; to a married woman, hope; to an old maid charity.