MILK
"You are charged with selling adulterated milk," said the judge.
"Your Honor, I plead not guilty."
"But the testimony shows that it is 25 per cent water."
"Then it must be high-grade milk," returned the plaintiff. "If your Honor will look up the word 'milk' in your dictionary you will find that it contains from 80 to 90 per cent water. I should have sold it for cream!"
The morning milk delivered at the parsonage was certainly weak, and the head of the household considered it necessary to remonstrate. "Are you aware," he remarked to the milkman, "that we require this milk for the hitherto recognized purposes?"
"I hope so, sir," replied the tradesman.
"That's all right, then," returned the parson gently; "I merely mentioned it in case you may have thought we wanted it for the font."
On the outskirts of Philadelphia is an admirable stock farm. One day last summer some poor children were permitted to go over this farm, and when their inspection was done, to each of them was given a glass of milk. The milk was excellent.
"Well, boys, how do you like it?" the farmer said, when they had drained their glasses.
"Fine," said one little fellow. Then after a pause, he added, "I wisht our milkman kept a cow."