OUIJA BOARD
"Do you think Mrs. Spinnix cheated at the ouija board?"
"I wouldn't go so far as to say she cheated," replied Miss Cayenne, "But I couldn't help noticing that it mispelled some of its words the same way she does."
Harry came home about five o'clock and his face and hands were very clean and his hair stood on end. His mother took one look and exclaimed: "Harry, I told you not to go swimmin' with Bob Ross."
"How do you know that I have been swimmin'?" asked Harry.
"Never mind who told me, but I know that you have been swimmin'," replied his mother.
After a while Harry said: "I'll just bet you anything that Mrs. Ross was over here this afternoon, and you and Mrs. Ross had that ouija board out."—Judge.
Breathlessly the spiritualistically inclined lady bent over the ouija spelling out the communications from her departed spouse.
"John, are you happy there?" she asked.
"Yes, d-e-a-r."
"Are you happier than you were on the earth."
"Yes, d-e-a-r."
"Ah," she breathed. "Heaven must be a wonderful place."
"I g-u-e-s-s s-o, b-u-t I-m n-o-t t-h-e-r-e y-e-t."
"Well," said Farmer Corntossel, "I reckon I've done a pretty good afternoon's work."
"But all you did," commented Jud Tunkins, contemptuously, "was to sit on the fence and whittle."
"Yes; but what I whittled up was the family ouija board."