REMEDIES
A Chinaman was asked if there were good doctors in China.
"Good doctors!" he exclaimed, "China have best doctors in world. Hang Chang one good doctor; he great; save life, to me."
"You don't say so! How was that?"
"Me velly bad," he said. "Me callee Doctor Han Kon. Give some medicine. Get velly, velly ill. Me callee Doctor San Sing. Give more medicine. Me glow worse—go die. Blimebly callee Doctor Hang Chang. He got no time; no come. Save life."
The other day a negro went into a drug store and said:
"Ah wants one ob dem dere plasters you stick on yoah back."
"I understand," said the clerk, "You mean one of our porous plasters?"
"No, sab, I don't want none ob your porous plasters, I wants de bes' one you got."
A Swedish farmer, who lived on his wheat farm in Minnesota, was taken ill and his wife telephoned the doctor.
"If you have a thermometer," answered the physician, "take his temperature. I will be out and see him presently."
An hour or so later when the doctor drove up, the woman met him at the door.
"How is he?" asked the doctor.
"Veil," said she, "I bane put the barometer on him like you tell me, and it say 'Very dry,' so I give him a pitcher of water to drink, and now he ban gone back to vork."
BESSIE—"The doctor says mamma must take a constitutional every morning. What's that mean?"
BOBBY—"That means walking."
BESSIE—"Then why didn't he say walk?"
BOBBY—"I don't know, but I guess maybe if he called it that he couldn't charge for it."