THRIFT

Mr. Benson went to New York to business, but lived in Brooklyn. Often he was not able to get home in time for dinner at night. He told his wife that he would phone her every day as to whether he could leave the office or not.

Mrs. Benson was of a very thrifty disposition, and the following was her solution of the problem: "Sam, if you find that you can't be home for dinner, phone me at exactly six o'clock. If the telephone rings at that hour, I'll know it is you and that you are not coming for dinner. I won't answer it, and you'll get your nickel back."

Saving is a habit; extravagance, an art.

Secretary of War Baker tells a story of a country youth who was driving to the county fair with his sweetheart when they passed a booth where fresh popcorn was for sale.

"My! Abner, ain't that nice?" said the girl.

"Ain't what nice?" asked Abner.

"Why, the popcorn; it smells so awfully good," replied the girl.

"It does smell kind o' fine," drawled the youth. "I'll jest drive a little closer so you can get a better smell."

BUTTONS—"Get up! Get up! The hotel's afire!"

SCOTTISH GENTLEMAN—"Richt, laddie; but if I do, mind ye, I'll no pay for the bed."

SETTLEMENT WORKER (visiting tenements)—"And your father is working now and getting two pounds a week? That's splendid! And how much does he put away every Saturday night, my dear?"

LITTLE GIRL—"Never less than three quarts, ma'am!"

HE—"I am a poor man, you know."

SHE—"When we are married I can learn to cook, dear."

HE—"Hadn't you better practise while your father is supplying the raw materials?"