TRAMPS
TRAMP—"Madam, I was at the front—"
KIND-HEARTED LADY—"My poor man. Another victim of that terrible war. Here's a dollar. Tell me how you got into these straits."
TRAMP-"I was going to say that I was at the front door an' nobody answered, so I came around to the back. Thankee, mum."
MRS. SUBBUBS (to tramp)—"Out of work, are you? Then you're just in time. I've a cord of wood to be cut up and I was just going to send for a man to do it."
TRAMP—"That so, mum? Where does he live? I'll go and get him."
BOXCAR HARRY—"Beg pardon, ma'am, but do you happen to have some pie or cake that you could spare an unfortunate wanderer?"
LADY OF THE HOUSE—"No, I'm afraid not. Wouldn't some bread and butter do?"
BOXCAR HARRY—"As a general rule it would, ma'am; but, you see, this is my birthday."