UMBRELLAS
"It says here that a Missouri man boasts that he has an umbrella that has been in his possession for twenty years," said Smith.
"Well," replied Jones, "that's long enough. He ought to return it."
FIRST ARTIST—"The umbrella you lent me? I have lent it to a friend."
SECOND ARTIST—"That is very awkward. The man who lent it to my friend tells him that the owner wants it."
"Little girl, why aren't you provided with an umbrella?" "Because father hasn't been to church this year."—Puck.
"Young man," said the fond father, "in giving you my daughter, I have entrusted you with the dearest treasure of my life."
The young man was duly impressed and made no endeavor to conceal his emotion and his gratitude. Then, during the few moments of impressive silence that followed, he heard the patter, patter of rain against the window.
"Goodness me!" he exclaimed, "it's raining and I haven't my umbrella! May I borrow yours, sir, to keep me dry while I run to the station?"
"Young man," said the fond parent, "I do not trust anyone with my umbrella!"