WAR

Some nations were fighting fiercely.

"Why are you fighting so?" inquired the bystanders, moved at length to curiosity.

"To save civilization!" replied the nations severally.

Here a draggled figure rose from the mire under the feet of the combatants and limped lamely away.

"And who are you?" asked the bystanders, with a disposition to get to the bottom of the matter.

"Don't speak to me—I'm civilization!" the figure made answer, somewhat pettishly.

"What if we loses this blinkin' war after all, Bill?"

"Well, all I can say is—them what finds it is quite welcome to keep it."

If we must have wars, let's adopt the pay-as-you-enter plan.

The war left the world so flat that Voliva may be excused for denying that it is round.

VISITOR—"It's a terrible war, this, young man—a terrible war."

MIKE (badly wounded)—"'Tis that, sor—a tirrible warr. But 'tis better than no warr at all."—Punch.

See also European War.