LINES WRITTEN IN A LAWYER’S OFFICE
ON THE APPROACH OF SPRING
Whereas, on certain boughs and sprays
Now divers birds are heard to sing,
And sundry flowers their heads upraise;
Hail to the coming on of Spring!
The songs of those said birds arouse
The memory of our youthful hours,
As green as those said sprays and boughs,
As fresh and sweet as those said flowers.
The birds aforesaid—happy pairs—
Love, ’mid the aforesaid boughs, enshrines
In freehold nests: themselves, their heirs,
Administrators and assigns.
Oh, busiest term of Cupid’s Court,
Where tender plaintiffs actions bring—
Season of frolic and of sport,
Hail, as aforesaid, coming Spring!
Life, we are told, is a trial, but the worst of it is there is no Court of Appeal we can go to in the event of our not being satisfied with the result of it. For myself, I should like uncommonly to move for a new trial.
Briefless Barrister.
Wit at a Disadvantage.—“Well, Jackson, you are always here for being drunk, so I shall fine you five shillings.”
“Not got a penny, your worshup.”
“Not a penny, sir!”
“I got only coppers,—‘hot coppers,’ your worshup.”
[He was most promptly and most properly locked up.
The Rule of the Road.—Query (from a correspondent).—When a street runs into another street, what is the remedy at law?
The Answer.—Consult a solicitor.
Conscientious Lawyer’s Advice.—Do right; don’t write.
A Juryman of a Size.—A Welsh publican who weighs thirty stone has lately been informed that his bulk will not invalidate him from sitting on juries. “Squashing the verdict” is likely to become a popular feature of the Welsh Assizes.
Motto for the Opponents of Capital Punishment. No noose is good news!
Called to the “Ba.”—The shepherd’s dog.
The Ends of Justice.—A cat-o’-nine-tails.
More judges required. We don’t want to hear so much of Chancery Division as of Chancery multiplication.
Shows his Breeding.—Equestrian (to policeman on the look-out for a stolen horse). “‘How did I come by ’im?’ Why, bred ’im myself, to be sure—down at a little place o’ my own.”