READING BETWEEN THE MARRIAGE LINES
(By a Recent Victim)
One of the first troubles to be faced by the young wife is the difficulty of getting servants. It will be found that a cook is almost indispensable. Rather than be without one, take time by the forelock and, during the engagement, try the following advertisement (one is bound to offer additional attractions nowadays):—"Wanted, at once, a good plain cook. If necessary, advertiser would be willing to make her a bridesmaid. Must be able to wear blue."
Or again:—"Newly married couple require cook and parlour maid. All china, glass, &c., in house new and unused and never been broken before."
In taking a house, remember that it is absolutely necessary to have an attic—in which to place some of the presents. It is all very well to say that they can be put in the servants' hall, but it must not be forgotten that it is now very difficult to keep servants, even under the most favourable circumstances.
You cannot be too careful in giving instructions for your house decoration. "In the dining-room I think I would like a dado," I said one day to the paper-man. The paper-man's face turned almost white at the suggestion. "You cannot, sir," he said in a hushed voice, "the dado is extinct." Then he explained that persons of taste have friezes nowadays, both in summer and winter.
To avoid a rush at the end, it will be worth the bride's while to write out beforehand a large number of letters of thanks for wedding-presents. The most handy form is, "Dear——, We both thank you so very much for your—— present." When the present arrives you can fill in the missing word as circumstances require. On no account leave the blank.
Another happy form is, "Dear——, Thank you so much for your charming and useful present. Please, what is it for?"
But beware of the following form, as some persons do not take it in the way in which it is meant, "Dear——, Many thanks for your present. It is very good of you to have sent anything."
Nothing looks so solidly generous in the list of presents as the vague word, Cheque. Many mean people now send as a present a cheque for ten-and-six.
A novelty at wedding-receptions, and very chic, is to have in the present-room, in place of a detective, a parrot which has been trained to cry out every now and then, "Put that back! Put that back!"
Another novelty is to have a stall for the sale of duplicate articles.
The custom by which the bridegroom, on the night before the wedding, gives a farewell dinner to his bachelor friends is falling into desuetude. As a consequence one sees less frequently the announcement:—"On the —— instant, by the Rev. Mr. ——, assisted by the Rev. Mr. ——, &c."
SPORTING EVENT—A RECORD
She won the Sweep!
ILLUMINISM
The Hon. Muriel. "Oh yes, I suppose I could get married, if I could find a man I simply couldn't live without."
The Hon. Maude. "My dear girl, the difficulty is to find a man you can live with!"
IN LEAP YEAR
Hopeless Widower. "Nothing can mend a broken heart."
Hopeful Widow. "Except re-pairing."
THE LAST CONGRATULATION
Fair Guest (who, having had a desperate flirtation with the bridegroom a short time ago, wouldn't be absent from the ceremony on any account). "Well, Algey, it's all over now! Aren't you pleased?"
[Uncomfortable position of Algey.