MAUD.
NAY, I cannot come into the garden just now,
Tho' it vexes me much to refuse:
But I must have the next set of waltzes, I vow,
With Lieutenant de Boots of the Blues.
I am sure you'll be heartily pleas'd when you hear
That our ball has been quite a success.
As for me—I've been looking a monster, my dear,
In that old fashion'd guy of a dress.
You had better at once hurry home, dear, to bed;
It is getting so dreadfully late.
You may catch the bronchitis or cold in the head
If you linger so long at our gate.
Don't be obstinate Alfy; come, take my advice,
For I know you're in want of repose.
Take a basin of gruel (you'll find it so nice),
And remember to tallow your nose.
No, I tell you I can't and I shan't get away,
For De Boots has implor'd me to sing.
As to you—if you like it, of course you can stay;
You were always an obstinate thing.
If you feel it a pleasure to talk to the flow'rs
About "babble and revel and wine,"
When you might have been snoring for two or three hours,
Why, it's not the least business of mine.
In 1879 the Editor of The World offered a prize for the best parody on Tennyson's Lotus-Eaters, the chosen subject being "Her Majesty's Ministers at Greenwich."
The prize was awarded to C. J. Billson, for the following parody, which appeared in The World, for September 3rd, 1879:—