THE BAGGAGE MAN.
WITH many a curve the trunks I pitch,
With many a shout and sally;
At station, siding, crossing, switch,
On mountain-grade or valley.
I heave, I push, I sling, I toss,
With vigorous endeavour,
And men may smile and men grow cross,
But I sling my trunks forever!
Ever! ever!
I bust the trunks for ever.
The paper trunk from country town
I balances and dandles;
I turn it once or twice around,
And pull out both the handles,
And grumble over travelling-bags
And monstrous sample-cases;
But I can smash the maker's brags
Like plaster-Paris vases,
They holler, holler, as I go;
But they can stop me never,
For they will learn just what I know—
A trunk won't last forever;
Ever! never!
I tug, I jerk, I swear, I sweat,
I toss the light valises;
And what's too big to throw, you bet,
I'll fire it round in pieces.
They murmur, murmur everywhere;
But I will heed them never,
For women weep and strong men swear,
I'll sling their trunks forever!
Ever! ever!
I'll bust the trunk forever!
From the United States Independent, September, 1881.
After the defeat of Colonel Burnaby, and the Hon, A. C. Calthorpe, at the last Birmingham election, the following parody appeared in The Gridiron, a local satirical paper.
The dashing Colonel's testimony in favour of Cockle's pills was the cause of many jokes at his expense in the election squibs. Messrs. Stone and Lowe were prominent members of the Birmingham Conservative party.
"Home they brought the news with dread!
He nor swore nor uttered cry:
His committee watching said,
He must weep, or he will die.
"Then they praised him, Stone and Lowe,
And called him worthy to be loved,
Jingo's friend and Gladstone's foe,
Yet he neither swore nor moved.
"Rose up Calthorpe from his place,
Lightly to the warrior crept,
Made a speech all full of grace,
But he neither swore nor wept.
"Rose a man of ninety years,
Placed a pill-box on his knee,
Like summer tempest came his tears,
"Cockle mine, thou'st done for me!"