"THE SONG OF THE DIRT."

(With Respectful Memories of Tom Hood.)

With garments soddened and soiled,

With boot-tops covered in grime,

With trousers bespattered with foulest mud,

Picking one's way through the slime.

Slush—slush—slush!

And foul-smelling filth and dirt,

That clings like a kind of malodorous pitch—

I sing the "Song of the Dirt."

Dirt—dirt—dirt!

In the January night,

And dirt—dirt—dirt!

While the weather is muggy though bright.

Smell, and slime, and reek,

Reek, and slime and smell;

Till over the kerbstone I fall and slip,

And smother myself as well.

O! but for one short hour!

A respite: 'twould be so sweet!

I'd bless the scavenger's shovel and broom,

If he'd clear the mud 'neath my feet.

For only one short hour,

To feel as I used to feel:

The pavement free from grease and slime

In my walk that's now an ordeal.

Funny Folks, January, 1884.