Actus. ii. Scæna. iii.
Truepenie. D. Dough. Tibet T. Anot Al.
Trupeny. I am cleane lost for lacke of mery companie,
We gree not halfe well within, our wenches and I,
They will commaunde like mistresses, they will forbyd,
If they be not served, Trupeny must be chyd.
Let them be as mery nowe as ye can desire, 5
With turnyng of a hande, our mirth lieth in the mire,
I can not skill of such chaungeable mettle,
There is nothing with them but in docke out nettle.[457]
D. Dough. Whether is it better that I speake to him furst,
Or he first to me, it is good to cast the wurst. 10
If I beginne first, he will smell all my purpose,
Otherwise I shall not neede any thing to disclose.
Trupeny. What boy have we yonder? I will see what he is.
D. Dough. He commeth to me. It is hereabout ywis.
Trupeny. Wouldest thou ought friende, that thou lookest so about?
D. Dough. Yea, but whether ye can helpe me or no, I dout. 16
I seeke to one mistresse Custance house here dwellyng.
Trupenie. It is my mistresse ye seeke too by your telling.
D. Dough. Is there any of that name heere but shee?
Trupenie. Not one in all the whole towne that I knowe pardee. C iv b 20
D. Dough. A Widowe she is I trow.
Trupenie. And what and she be?
D. Dough. But ensured to an husbande.
Trupenie. Yea, so thinke we.
D. Dough. And I dwell with hir husbande that trusteth to be.
Trupenie. In faith then must thou needes be welcome to me,
Let us for acquaintance shake handes togither, 25
And what ere thou be, heartily welcome hither.
Tib. Talk. Well Trupenie never but flinging.[458] [entering with An.]
An. Alyface. And frisking?
Trupenie. Well Tibet and Annot, still swingyng and whiskyng?
Tib. Talk. But ye roile abroade.
An. Alyface. In the streete evere where.
Trupenie. Where are ye twaine, in chambers when ye mete me there? 30
But come hither fooles, I have one nowe by the hande,
Servant to hym that must be our mistresse husbande,
Byd him welcome.
An. Alyface. To me truly is he welcome.
Tib. Talk. Forsooth and as I may say, heartily welcome.
D. Dough. I thank you mistresse maides. 35
An. Alyface. I hope we shal better know.
Tib. Talk. And when wil our new master come.
Tib. Talk. I would it were to morow: for till he resorte
Our mistresse being a Widow hath small comforte,
And I hearde our nourse speake of an husbande to day
Ready for our mistresse, a riche man and a gay, 40
And we shall go in our frenche hoodes[459] every day,
In our silke cassocks (I warrant you) freshe and gay,
In our tricke[460] ferdegews and billiments of golde,[461]
Brave[462] in our sutes of chaunge seven double folde,
Then shall ye see Tibet sirs, treade the mosse so trimme, 45
Nay, why sayd I treade? ye shall see hir glide and swimme,
Not lumperdee clumperdee like our spaniell Rig.
Trupeny. Mary then prickmedaintie[463] come toste me a fig.[464]
Who shall then know our Tib Talke apace trow ye?
An. Alyface. And why not Annot Alyface as fyne as she? 50
Trupeny. And what had Tom Trupeny, a father or none?
An. Alyface. Then our prety newe come man will looke to be one.
Trupeny. We foure I trust shall be a joily mery knot.
Shall we sing a fitte to welcome our friende, Annot? D i
An. Alyface. Perchaunce he can not sing. 55
D. Dough. I am at all assayes.[465]
Tib. Talk. By cocke and the better welcome to us alwayes.
Here they sing.
A thing very fitte
For them that have witte,
And are felowes knitte
Servants in one house to bee,60
Is fast fast for to sitte,
And not oft to flitte,
Nor varie a whitte,
But lovingly to agree.
No man complainyng,65
Nor other disdayning,
For losse or for gainyng,
But felowes or friends to bee.
No grudge remainyng,
No worke refrainyng,70
Nor helpe restrainyng,
But lovingly to agree.
By worde or by write
His felowe to twite,75
But further in honestie,
No good turnes entwite,[466]
Nor olde sores recite,
But let all goe quite,
And lovingly to agree.80
After drudgerie,
When they be werie,
Then to be merie,
To laugh and sing they be free
With chip and cherie 85
Heigh derie derie,
Trill on the berie,[467]
And lovingly to agree.
Finis.
Tib. Talk. Wyll you now in with us unto our mistresse go?
D. Dough. I have first for my maister an errand or two. 90
But I have here from him a token and a ring,
They shall have moste thanke of hir that first doth it bring.
Tib. Talk. Mary that will I.
Trupeny. See and Tibet snatch not now.
Tib. Talk. And why may not I sir, get thanks as well as you?
Exeat.
An. Alyface. Yet get ye not all, we will go with you both. 95
And have part of your thanks be ye never so loth.
[Exeant omnes.]
D. Dough. So my handes are ridde of it: I care for no more.
I may now return home: so durst I not afore.
Exeat.
Actus. ii. Scæna. iiii. D i b
C. Custance. Tibet. Annot Alyface. Trupeny.
C. Custance. Nay come forth all three: and come hither pretie mayde:
Will not so many forewarnings make you afrayde?
Tib. Talk. Yes forsoth.
C. Custance. But stil be a runner up and downe
Still be a bringer of tidings and tokens to towne.
Tib. Talk. No forsoth mistresse. 5
C. Custance. Is all your delite and joy
In whiskyng and ramping[468] abroade like a Tom boy.
Tib. Talk. Forsoth these were there too, Annot and Trupenie.
Trupenie. Yea but ye alone tooke it, ye can not denie.
Annot Aly. Yea that ye did.
Tibet. But if I had not, ye twaine would.
C. Custance. You great calfe ye should have more witte, so ye should: 10
But why shoulde any of you take such things in hande.
Tibet. Because it came from him that must be your husbande.
C. Custance. How do ye know that?
Tibet. Forsoth the boy did say so.
C. Custance. What was his name?
An. Alyface. We asked not.
C. Custance. No?[469]
An. Aliface. He is not farre gone of likelyhod. 15
Trupeny. I will see.
C. Custance. If thou canst finde him in the streete bring him to me.
Trupenie. Yes.
Exeat.
C. Custance. Well ye naughty girles, if ever I perceive
That henceforth you do letters or tokens receive,
To bring unto me from any person or place,
Except ye first shewe me the partie face to face, 20
Eyther thou or thou, full truly abye[470] thou shalt.
Tibet. Pardon this, and the next tyme pouder me in salt.
C. Custance. I shall make all girles by you twaine to beware.
Tibet. If ever I offende againe do not me spare.
But if ever I see that false boy any more 25
By your mistreshyps licence I tell you afore
I will rather have my cote twentie times swinged,
Than on the naughtie wag not to be avenged.
C. Custance. Good wenches would not so rampe abrode ydelly,
But keepe within doores, and plie their work earnestly, D ii 30
If one would speake with me that is a man likely,
Ye shall have right good thanke to bring me worde quickly.
But otherwyse with messages to come in post
From henceforth I promise you, shall be to your cost.
Get you in to your work. 35
Tib. An. Yes forsoth.
C. Custance. Hence both twaine.
And let me see you play me such a part againe.
[Exeant Tib. and An.]
Trupeny [entering]. Maistresse, I have runne past the farre ende of the streete,
Yet can I not yonder craftie boy see nor meete.
C. Custance. No?
Trupeny. Yet I looked as farre beyonde the people.
As one may see out of the toppe of Paules steeple. 40
C. Custance. Hence in at doores, and let me no more be vext.
Trupeny. Forgeve me this one fault, and lay on for the next.
C. Custance. Now will I in too, for I thinke so God me mende,
This will prove some foolishe matter in the ende.
Exeat.
Actus. ii. Scæna. i.
Mathewe Merygreeke.
M. Mery. Nowe say thys againe: he hath somewhat to dooing
Which followeth the trace of one that is wowing,
Specially that hath no more wit in his hedde,
Than my cousin Roister Doister withall is ledde.
I am sent in all haste to espie and to marke 5
How our letters and tokens are likely to warke.
Maister Roister Doister must have aunswere in haste
For he loveth not to spende much labour in waste.
Nowe as for Christian Custance by this light,
Though she had not hir trouth to Gawin Goodluck plight, 10
Yet rather than with such a loutishe dolte to marie,
I dare say woulde lyve a poore lyfe solitarie,
But fayne woulde I speake with Custance if I wist how
To laugh at the matter, yond commeth one forth now.
Actus. iii. Scæna. ii. D ii b
Tibet. M. Merygreeke. Christian Custance.
Tib. Talk. Ah that I might but once in my life have a sight
Of him that made us all so yll shent by this light,
He should never escape if I had him by the eare,
But even from his head, I would it bite or teare.
Yea and if one of them were not inowe, 5
I would bite them both off, I make God avow.
M. Mery. What is he, whome this little mouse doth so threaten?
Tib. Talk. I woulde teache him I trow, to make girles shent or beaten.
M. Mery. I will call hir: Maide with whome are ye so hastie?
Tib. Talk. Not with you sir, but with a little wag-pastie, 10
A deceiver of folkes, by subtill craft and guile.
M. Mery. I knowe where she is: Dobinet hath wrought some wile.
Tib. Talk. He brought a ring and token which he sayd was sent
From our dames husbande, but I wot well I was shent:
For it liked hir as well to tell you no lies, 15
As water in hir shyppe, or salt cast in hir eies:
And yet whence it came neyther we nor she can tell.
M. Mery. We shall have sport anone: I like this very well.
And dwell ye here with mistresse Custance faire maide?
Tib. Talk. Yea mary doe I sir: what would ye have sayd? 20
M. Mery. A little message unto hir by worde of mouth.
Tib. Talk. No messages by your leave, nor tokens forsoth.
M. Mery. Then help me to speke with hir.
Tibet. With a good wil that.
Here she commeth forth. Now speake ye know best what.
C. Custance. None other life with you maide, but abrode to skip? 25
Tib. Talk. Forsoth here is one would speake with your mistresship.[471]
C. Custance. Ah, have ye ben learning of mo messages now?
Tib. Talk. I would not heare his minde, but bad him shewe it to you.
C. Custance. In at dores.
Tib. Talk. I am gon.
Ex.
M. Mery. Dame Custance god ye save.
C. Custance. Welcome friend Merygreeke: and what thing wold ye have? D iii[472] 30
M. Mery. I am come to you a little matter to breake.
C. Custance. But see it be honest, else better not to speake.
M. Mery. Howe feele ye your selfe affected here of late?
C. Custance. I feele no maner chaunge but after the olde rate.
But whereby do ye meane? 35
M. Mery. Concerning mariage.
Doth not love lade you?
C. Custance. I feele no such cariage.[473]
M. Mery. Doe ye feele no pangues of dotage? aunswere me right.
C. Custance. I dote so, that I make but one sleepe all the night
But what neede all these wordes?
M. Mery. Oh Jesus, will ye see
What dissemblyng creatures these same women be? 40
The gentleman ye wote of, whome ye doe so love,
That ye woulde fayne marrie him, yf ye durst it move,
Emong other riche widowes, which are of him glad,
Lest ye for lesing of him perchaunce might runne mad,
Is nowe contented that upon your sute making, 45
Ye be as one in election of taking.
C. Custance. What a tale is this? that I wote of? whome I love?
M. Mery. Yea and he is as loving a worme againe as a dove.
Een of very pitie he is willyng you to take,
Bicause ye shall not destroy your selfe for his sake. 50
C. Custance. Mary God yelde his mashyp what ever he be,
It is gentmanly spoken.
If ye have the grace now to offer your self, ye speede.
C. Custance. As muche as though I did, this time it shall not neede,
But what gentman is it, I pray you tell me plaine, 55
That woweth so finely?
M. Mery. Lo where ye be againe,
As though ye knewe him not.
C. Custance. Tush ye speake in jest.
M. Mery. Nay sure, the partie is in good knacking[474] earnest,
And have you he will (he sayth) and have you he must.
C. Custance. I am promised duryng my life, that is just. 60
M. Mery. Mary so thinketh he, unto him alone.
C. Custance. No creature hath my faith and trouth but one,
That is Gawin Goodlucke: and if it be not hee,
He hath no title this way what ever he be, D iii b
Nor I know none to whome I have such worde spoken. 65
M. Mery. Ye knowe him not[,] you[,] by his letter and token[!]
C. Custance. In dede true it is, that a letter I have,
But I never reade it yet as God me save.
M. Mery. Ye a woman? and your letter so long unredde.
C. Custance. Ye may therby know what hast I have to wedde. 70
But now who it is, for my hande I knowe by gesse.
M. Mery. Ah well I say.
C. Custance. It is Roister Doister doubtlesse.
M. Mery. Will ye never leave this dissimulation?
Ye know hym not.
C. Custance. But by imagination,
For no man there is but a very dolt and loute 75
That to wowe a Widowe woulde so go about.
He shall never have me hys wife while he doe live.
M. Mery. Then will he have you if he may, so mote I thrive,
And he biddeth you sende him worde by me,
That ye humbly beseech him, ye may his wife be, 80
And that there shall be no let in you nor mistrust,
But to be wedded on Sunday next if he lust,
And biddeth you to looke for him.
M. Mery. When he commeth, aske hym whether he did or no?
C. Custance. Goe say, that I bid him keepe him warme at home 85
For if he come abroade, he shall cough me a mome.[475]
My mynde was vexed, I shrew his head sottish dolt.
M. Mery. He hath in his head[——][476]
C. Custance. As much braine as a burbolt.[477]
M. Mery. Well dame Custance, if he heare you thus play choploge.[478]
C. Custance. What will he? 90
M. Mery. Play the devill in the horologe.[479]
C. Custance. I defye him loute.
M. Mery. Shall I tell hym what ye say?
C. Custance. Yea and adde what so ever thou canst, I thee pray,
And I will avouche it what so ever it bee.
M. Mery. Then let me alone we will laugh well ye shall see,
It will not be long ere he will hither resorte. 95
C. Custance. Let hym come when hym lust, I wishe no better sport.
Fare ye well, I will in, and read my great letter.
I shall to my wower make answere the better.
Exeat. D iv