Actus iii. Scæna v.
Roister Doister. Mathewe Merygreeke. Scrivener.
R. Royster. What is a gentleman but his worde and his promise?
I must nowe save this vilaines lyfe in any wife,
And yet at hym already my handes doe tickle,
I shall uneth holde them, they wyll be so fickle.
But lo and Merygreeke have not brought him sens? 5
M. Mery [entering with the Scriv.]. Nay I woulde I had of my purse payde fortie pens.
Scrivener. So woulde I too: but it needed not that stounde,
M. Mery. But the jentman[525] had rather spent five thousande pounde,
For it disgraced him at least five tymes so muche.
Scrivener. He disgraced hym selfe, his loutishnesse is suche. 10
R. Royster. Howe long they stande prating? Why comst thou not away?
M. Mery. Come nowe to hymselfe, and hearke what he will say.
Scrivener. I am not afrayde in his presence to appeere.
R. Royster. Arte thou come felow?
Scrivener. How thinke you? am I not here? 14
R. Royster. What hindrance hast thou done me, and what villanie?
Scrivener. It hath come of thy selfe, if thou hast had any.
R. Royster. All the stocke thou comest of later or rather,[526]
From thy fyrst fathers grandfathers fathers father,
Nor all that shall come of thee to the worldes ende, F i
Though to three score generations they descende, 20
Can be able to make me a just recompense,
For this trespasse of thine and this one offense.
Scrivener. Wherin?
R. Royster. Did not you make me a letter brother?[527]
Scrivener. Pay the like hire, I will make you suche an other.
R. Royster. Nay see and these whooreson Phariseys and Scribes 25
Doe not get their livyng by polling[528] and bribes.[529]
If it were not for shame [advances towards the Scr. to strike him.]
Scrivener[530]. Nay holde thy hands still.
M. Mery. Why[,] did ye not promise that ye would not him spill?
Scrivener [prepares to fight]. Let him not spare me. [Strikes R.]
R. Royster. Why wilt thou strike me again?
Scrivener. Ye shall have as good as ye bring of me that is plaine. 30
M. Mery. I can not blame him sir, though your blowes wold him greve.
For he knoweth present death to ensue of all ye geve.
R. Royster. Well, this man for once hath purchased thy pardon.
Scrivener. And what say ye to me? or else I will be gon.
R. Royster. I say the letter thou madest me was not good. 35
Scrivener. Then did ye wrong copy it of likelyhood.
R. Royster. Yes, out of thy copy worde for worde I wrote.
Scrivener. Then was it as ye prayed to have it I wote,
But in reading and pointyng there was made some faulte.
R. Royster. I wote not, but it made all my matter to haulte. 40
Scrivener. How say you, is this mine originall or no?
R. Royster. The selfe same that I wrote out of, so mote I go.
Scrivener. Loke you on your owne fist,[531] and I will looke on this.
And let this man be judge whether I reade amisse.
To myne owne dere coney birde, sweete heart, and pigsny,[532] 45
Good mistresse Custance, present these by and by.
How now? doth not this superscription agree?
R. Royster. Reade that is within, and there ye shall the fault see.
Scrivener. Sweete mistresse, where as I love you, nothing at all
Regarding your richesse and substance: chiefe of all 50
For your personage, beautie, demeanour and witte
I commende me unto you: Never a whitte
Sory to heare reporte of your good welfare. F i b
For (as I heare say) suche your conditions are,
That ye be worthie favour: of no living man 55
To be abhorred: of every honest man
To be taken for a woman enclined to vice
Nothing at all: to vertue giving hir due price.
Wherefore concerning mariage, ye are thought
Suche a fine Paragon, as nere honest man bought. 60
And nowe by these presents I doe you advertise,
That I am minded to marrie you: In no wyse
For your goodes and substance: I can be content
To take you as you are: yf ye will be my wife,
Ye shall be assured for the time of my life, 65
I wyll keepe you right well: from good raiment and fare,
Ye shall not be kept: but in sorowe and care
Ye shall in no wyse lyve: at your owne libertie,
Doe and say what ye lust: ye shall never please me
But when ye are merrie: I will bee all sadde 70
When ye are sorie: I wyll be very gladde
When ye seeke your heartes ease: I will be unkinde
At no time: in me shall ye muche gentlenesse finde.
But all things contrary to your will and minde
Shall be done otherwise: I wyll not be behynde 75
To speake: And as for all they that woulde do you wrong,
(I wyll so helpe and maintayne ye) shall not lyve long.
Nor any foolishe dolte shall cumber you, but I,
I, who ere say nay, wyll sticke by you tyll I die.
Thus good mistresse Custance, the lorde you save and kepe. 80
From me Roister Doister, whether I wake or slepe,
Who favoureth you no lesse, (ye may be bolde)
Than this letter purporteth, which ye have unfolde.
Now sir, what default can ye finde in this letter?
R. Royster. Of truth in my mynde there can not be a better. 85
Scrivener. Then was the fault in readyng, and not in writyng,
No nor I dare say in the fourme of endityng, F ii
But who read this letter, that it sounded so nought?
M. Mery. I redde it in deede.
Scrivener. Ye red it not as ye ought.
R. Royster. Why thou wretched villaine was all this same fault in thee? [Advances angrily against M.] 90
M. Mery [strikes R.]. I knocke your costarde[533] if ye offer to strike me.
R. Royster. Strikest thou in deede? and I offer but in jest?
M. Mery. Yea and rappe you againe except ye can sit in rest.
And I will no longer tarie here me beleve.
R. Royster. What wilt thou be angry, and I do thee forgeve? 95
Fare thou well scribler, I crie thee mercie in deede.
Scrivener. Fare ye well bibbler, and worthily may ye speede.
R. Royster. If it were an other but thou, it were a knave.
M. Mery. Ye are an other your selfe sir, the lorde us both save,
Albeit in this matter I must your pardon crave, 100
Alas woulde ye wyshe in me the witte that ye have?
But as for my fault I can quickely amende,
I will shewe Custance it was I that did offende.
R. Royster. By so doing hir anger may be reformed.
M. Mery. But if by no entreatie she will be turned, 105
Then sette lyght by hir and bee as testie as shee,
And doe your force upon hir with extremitie.
R. Roister. Come on therefore lette us go home in sadnesse.
M. Mery. That if force shall neede all may be in a readinesse,[534]
And as for thys letter hardely[535] let all go, 110
We wyll know where[536] she refuse you for that or no.
Exeant am[bo.]
Actus iiii. Scæna i.
Sym Suresby.
Sim Sure. Is there any man but I Sym Suresby alone,
That would have taken such an enterprise him upon,
In suche an outragious tempest as this was.
Suche a daungerous gulfe of the sea to passe. F ii b
I thinke verily Neptunes mightie godshyp, 5
Was angry with some that was in our shyp,
And but for the honestie which in me he founde,
I thinke for the others sake we had bene drownde.
But fye on that servant which for his maisters wealth[537]
Will sticke for to hazarde both his lyfe and his health. 10
My maister Gawyn Goodlucke after me a day
Bicause of the weather, thought best hys shyppe to stay,
And now that I have the rough sourges so well past,
God graunt I may finde all things safe here at last.
Then will I thinke all my travaile well spent. 15
Nowe the first poynt wherfore my maister hath me sent
Is to salute dame Christian Custance his wife[538]
Espoused: whome he tendreth no lesse than his life,
I must see how it is with hir well or wrong,
And whether for him she doth not now thinke long: 20
Then to other friendes I have a message or tway,
And then so to returne and mete him on the way.
Now wyll I goe knocke that I may dispatche with speede,
But loe forth commeth hir selfe happily in deede.