B
A broadside: Printed and Sold at the Printing-Office in Bow Church-Yard, London.
1
O I went into the stable,
and there for to see,
And there I saw three horses stand,
by one, by two, and by three.
2
O I calld to my loving wife,
and ‘Anon, kind sir!’ quoth she:
‘O what do these three horses here,
without the leave of me?’
3
‘Why, you old cuckold, blind cuckold,
can’t you very well see?
These are three milking-cows,
my mother sent to me.’
4
‘Heyday! Godzounds! Milking-cows with bridles and saddles on!
the like was never known!’
Old Wichet a cuckold went out,
and a cuckold he came home.
5
O I went into the kitchen,
and there for to see,
And there I saw three swords hang,
by one, by two, and by three.
6
O I calld to my loving wife,
and ‘Anon, kind sir!’ quoth she:
‘O what do these three swords do here,
without the leave of me?’
7
‘Why, you old cuckold, blind cuckold,
can’t you very well see?
They are three roasting-spits,
my mother sent to me.’
8
‘Heyday! Godzounds! Roasting spits with scabbards on!
the like was never known!’
Old Wichet a cuckold went out,
and a cuckold he came home.
9
O I went into the parlour,
and there for to see,
And there I saw three cloaks hang,
by one, by two, and by three.
10
O I calld to my loving wife,
and ‘Anon, kind sir!’ quoth she:
‘O what do these three cloaks do here,
without the leave of me?’
11
‘Why, you old cuckold, blind cuckold,
can’t you very well see?
These are three mantuas,
my mother sent to me.’
12
‘Heyday! Godzounds! Mantuas with capes on!
the like was never known!’
Old Wichet a cuckold went out,
and a cuckold he came home.
13
I went into the pantry,
and there for to see,
And there I saw three pair of boots hang,
by one, by two, and by three.
14
O I called to my loving wife,
and ‘Anon, kind sir!’ quoth she:
‘O what do these three pair of boots do here,
without the leave of me?’
15
‘Why, you old cuckold, blind cuckold,
can’t you very well see?
These are three pudding-bags,
my mother sent to me.’
16
‘Heyday! Godzounds! Pudding-bags with spurs on!
the like was never known!’
Old Wichet a cuckold went out,
and a cuckold he came home.
17
I went into my closet,
and there for to see,
And there I saw three pair of breeches lie,
by one, by two, and by three.
18
O I calld to my loving wife,
and ‘Anon, kind sir!’ quoth she:
‘O what do these three pair of breeches do here,
without the leave of me?’
19
‘Why, you old cuckold, blind cuckold,
can’t you very well see?
These are three petticoats,
my mother sent to me.’
20
‘Heyday! Godzounds! Petticoats with waistbands on!
the like was never known!’
Old Wichet a cuckold went out,
and a cuckold he came home.
21
I went into the dairy,
and there for to see,
And there I saw three hats hang,
by one, by two, and by three.
22
I calld to my loving wife,
and ‘Anon, kind sir!’ quoth she:
‘Pray what do these three hats do here,
without the leave of me?’
23
‘Why, you old cuckold, blind cuckold,
can’t you very well see?
They are three skimming-dishes,
my mother sent to me.’
24
‘Heyday! Godzounds! Skimming-dishes with hat-bands on!
the like was never known!’
Old Wichet a cuckold went out,
and a cuckold he came home.
25
I went into the chamber,
and there for to see,
And there I saw three men in bed lie,
by one, by two, and by three.
26
I called to my loving wife,
and ‘Anon, kind sir!’ quoth she:
‘O what do these three men in bed,
without the leave of me?’
27
‘Why, you old cuckold, blind cuckold,
don’t you very well see?
They are three milking-maids,
my mother sent to me.’
28
‘Heyday! Godzounds! Milking-maids with beards on!
the like was never known!’
Old Wichet a cuckold went out,
and a cuckold he came home.
A.
11. Or, Our goodman came hame at een.
21. Or, How came this horse here?
22. Or, How can this be?
31. Or, Ye ald blind dottled carl.
32. Or, Blind mat ye be!
33. Or, a bonny milk-cow.
34. My minny is an alternative and necessary reading for The miller.
41. Or, travelld.
42. Or, And meikle hae I seen.
44. [Or,] Saw I.
51. Or, Our goodman came hame.
74. The cooper sent.
9-12. At the end, with a direction as to place: not completely written out.
91. Hame, etc.
103. O how.
121,2. Weel far hae I travelled,
And muckle hae I seen.
124. Saw I never nane.
The regular readings have been inserted or substituted. In printing, Herd gave sometimes the alternative readings, sometimes not.
B.
Printed in seven staves, or stanzas, of eight long lines.
11, 21. Oh.
153, 193. the three.
Notes and Queries, First Series, VI, 118 (“Shropshire Ballad”).
I went into the stable,
To see what I could see;
I saw three gentlemen’s horses,
By one, by two, by three.
I called to my loving wife,
‘Coming, sir!’ says she:
‘What meaneth these three horses here,
Without the leave of me?’
‘You old fool! you blind fool!
Can’t you, won’t you, see?
They are three milking-cows,
That my mother sent to me.’
‘Odds bobs, here’s fun! Milking-cows with saddles on!
The likes I never see!
I cannot go a mile from home
But a cuckold I must be.’
I went into the parlour,
To see what I could see;
I saw there three gentlemen,
By one, by two, by three.
I called to my loving wife,
‘Coming, sir!’ said she:
‘What bringeth these three gentlemen here,
Without the leave of me?’
‘You old fool! you blind fool!
Can’t you, won’t you, see?
They are three milking-maids,
That my mother sent to me.’
‘Odds bobs, here’s fun! Milking-maids with breeches on!
The likes I never see!
I cannot go a mile from home
But a cuckold I must be.’
The unhappy husband next wanders into the pantry, and discovers ‘three pairs of hunting-boots,’ which his spouse declares are
’ . . . milking-churns,
Which my mother sent to me.’
‘Odds bobs, here’s fun! Milking-churns with spurs on!
The likes I never see!
I cannot go a mile from home
But a cuckold I must be.’
The gentlemen’s coats, discovered in the kitchen, are next disposed of, but here my memory fails me.
APPENDIX
‘’Twas on Christmas Day,’ found on a slip, “Sold at No 42 Long Lane,” in a volume in the British Museum, 1876. e (not paged, but at what would be p. 57), and again in The New Covent Garden Concert, London, Printed and sold by J. Evans, No 41 Long-Lane, West Smithfield, Br. Mus. 1077. g. 47 (4), dated in the catalogue “1805?”
’Twas on Christmas Day
Father he did wed;
Three months after that
My mother was brought to bed.
My father he came home,
His head with liquor stord,
And found in mother’s room
A silver-hilted sword.
Fiddle de dum de de, etc.
‘How came this sword here?’
My mother says, says she,
‘Lovee, ’tis a poker
Antee sent to me.’
Father he stumbld and star’d;
’Twas the first, I ween,
Silver-headed poker
He had ever seen.
Father grumbled on,
But getting into bed
Egad! as luck fell out,
A man popd up his head;
‘That’s my milk-maid,’ says she;
Says dad, ‘I never heard
In all my travels yet
A milk-maid with a beard.’
My father found a whip,
And very glad was he;
‘And how came this whip here,
Without the leave of me?’
‘Oh! that’s a nice strap-lace
My antee sent to me;’
Egad! he lac’d her stays,
And out of doors went she.