A WOMAN’S THOUGHTS ABOUT WOMEN
I think Miss Juliet in the play
A forward little minx
(And Mrs. Grundy likes to say
What Mrs. Grundy thinks).
Her conduct with R. Montague
Seems perfectly absurd,
Such bold and brazen language, too,
I think I never heard.
I think Othello led a tame
And wretched kind of life,
With Desdemona What’s-her-name—
His namby-pamby wife.
To run away—at such an age—
And with a negro, too!
Such conduct even on the stage,
I think I never knew.
I think that, as to Beatrice,
Her husband was a flat
For looking for a life of peace
With such a wife as that.
Her conduct wasn’t over strict
For all her length of jaw;
And such a muff as Benedict
I think I never saw.
I think, when Portia’s lovers came
And played at pitch and toss,
The gentleman who won that dame
Contrived to gain a loss.
I think Emilia was a shrew,
And Rosalind ill-bred;
(But “As you Like It,” entre nous,
I think I never read).
I think Macbeth was led astray
By wicked Lady M.
And those three witches. By the way,
I don’t think much of them.
I think Ophelia—that’s a fact—
The best of all the set;
But anybody quite so crack’d
I think I never met.
Fun, 1865.
Brown (thinking of her age). Perfect voice that girl has—she’s only twenty-two.
Jones (thinking otherwise). Twenty-two what—stone?
CULTURE FOR THE MILLION; or, SOCIETY AS IT MAY BE.
HIGH ART BELOW STAIRS.—Cook. Sh—sh—! Moderato, Susan! Affettuoso, Jim! Ben marcato il basso, Mr. Raffles! Bravi tutti! Da capo!
GENTLE REBUKE.
Old Gentleman. How charmingly that young lady sings! Pray, who composed the beautiful song she has just favoured us with?
Lady of the House. Oh, it is by Mendelssohn.
Old Gentleman. Ah! One of his famous “Songs without Words,” I suppose.
(Moral.—Young ladies, when you sing, pronounce your words carefully, and then you will not expose
unmusical old gentlemen to making such a ridiculous mistake as the above.)