THE BILLVILLE SPIRIT MEETING
BY FRANK L. STANTON
We had a sperrit meetin' (we'll never have no more!)
To call up all the sperrits of them that's "gone before."
A feller called a "medium" (he wuz of medium size),
Took the contract fer the fetchin' o' them sperrits from the skies.
The mayor—the town council—the parson an' his wife,
Come to shake han's with them sperrits what had left the other life;
The Colonel an' the Major—the coroner, an' all
Wuz waitin' an' debatin' in the darkness o' the hall.
The medium roared, "Silence! Amanda Jones appears!
Is her husband present?" ("No, sir—he's been restin' twenty years!")
"Here's the ghost of Sally Spilkins, from the lan' whar' glories glow:
Would her husband like to see her?" (An' a feeble voice said, "No!")
"Here's the wife of Colonel Buster; she wears a heavenly smile:
She wants to see the Colonel, an' she's comin' down the aisle!"
Then all wuz wild confusion—it warn't a bit o' fun!—
With "Lord, have mercy on me," the Colonel broke an' run!
Then the coroner got skeery an' scampered fer his life!
"Stop—stop him!" said the medium; "here comes his second wife!"
But thar' warn't a man could stop him in that whole blame settlement.—
He turned a double summersault an' out the winder went!
Then, the whole town council follered an' hollered all the way;
The parson said he had a call 'bout ten miles off, to pray!
He didn't preach nex' Sunday, an' they tell it roun' a bit,
Accordin' to the best reports the parson's runnin' yit!