THE DAY WE DO NOT CELEBRATE

One famous day in great July
John Adams said, long years gone by,

"This day that makes a people free
Shall be the people's jubilee,

With games, guns, sports, and shows displayed,
With bells, pomp, bonfires, and parade,

Throughout this land, from shore to shore,
From this time forth, forevermore."

The years passed on, and by and by,
Men's hearts grew cold in hot July.

And Mayor Hawarden Cholmondely said
"Hof rockets Hi ham sore hafraid;

Hand hif you send one hup hablaze,
Hi'll send you hup for sixty days."

Then said the Mayor O'Shay McQuade,
"Thayre uz no nade fur no perade."

And Mayor Hans Von Schwartzenmeyer
Proclaimed, "I'll haf me no bonfier!"

Said Mayor Baptiste Raphael
"No make-a ring-a dat-a bell!"

"By gar!" cried Mayor Jean Crapaud,
"Zis July games vill has to go!"

And Mayor Knud Christofferrssonn
Said, "Djeath to hjjim who fjjres a gjjunn!"

At last, cried Mayor Wun Lung Lee—
"Too muchee hoop-la boberee!"

And so the Yankee holiday,
Of proclamations passed away.