T.H. Smith
Tom Henry Smith I long have known
Although he really is a hermit—
At least, Tom Henry lives alone,
And that's what people always term it.
Tom Henry never is annoyed
By fashion's change. He wears a collar
Constructed out of celluloid.
His hats ne'er cost above a dollar.
Tom loves about his room to mess,
And cook a sausage at the fireplace.
It doesn't serve to help his dress—
Grease spatters over the entire place.
Tom Henry likes to read a book,
And writes a little for the papers,
But scarcely ever leaves his nook,
And takes no part in social capers.
Now Tom has penned a book himself.
I hope he'll never feel compunctions!
Its title is—it's on my shelf—
"Pink Teas and Other Social Functions."