Act I
Scene I.—Mr. Hardcastle's house. MR. and MRS. Hardcastle.
Mrs. Hardcastle: I vow, Mr. Hardcastle, I hate such old-fashioned trumpery.
Hardcastle: And I love it; old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wine, and I believe you'll own I've been pretty fond of an old wife.
Mrs. Hardcastle: Oh, you're for ever at your old wife. I'm not so old as you'd make me. I was twenty when my son Tony was born, and he's not come to years of discretion yet.
Hardcastle: Nor ever will, I dare answer; you've taught him finely. Alehouse and stable are his only schools.
Mrs. Hardcastle: Poor boy, anyone can see he's consumptive.
[Tony is heard hallooing.
Hardcastle: Oh, very consumptive!
[Tony crosses, and Mrs. Hardcastle follows him out. Enter Kate Hardcastle.
Hardcastle: Blessings on my pretty innocence! What a quantity of superfluous silk hast thou got about thee, girl!
Kate: But in the evening I am to wear my housewife's dress to please you; you know our agreement, sir.
Hardcastle: By the bye, I shall have to try your obedience this very evening. In fact, Kate, I expect the young gentleman I have chosen to be your husband, this very day; and my old friend his father, Sir Charles Marlow, soon after him. I shall not control your choice, but I am told that he is of an excellent understanding.
Kate: Is he?
Hardcastle: Very generous.
Kate: I believe I shall like him.
Hardcastle: Young and brave.
Kate: I'm sure I shall like him.
Hardcastle: And very handsome.
Kate: Say no more; he's mine.
Hardcastle: And, to crown all, he's one of the most reserved and bashful young fellows in the world.
Kate: That word has undone all the rest, still I think I'll have him. (Exit Hardcastle.) Reserved and sheepish. Can't he be cured? (Enter Miss Neville.) I'm glad you came, my dear. I am threatened with a lover, the son of Sir Charles Marlow.
Miss Neville: The most intimate friend of Mr. Hastings, my admirer; and such a character. Among ladies of reputation the modestest man alive, but with others——
Miss Hardcastle: And has my mother been courting you for my brother Tony, as usual? I could almost love him for hating you so.
Miss Neville: It is a good-natured creature at bottom, and I'm sure would wish to see me married to anyone but himself.
[Exeunt.
Scene II.—An alehouse. Tony Lumpkin carousing with the village riff-raff. Marlow and Hastings arrive, and inquire the way to Mr. Hardcastle's house. Tony tells them they cannot possibly reach the house that night, but directs them to it as an inn.
Tony: The old Buck's Head on the hill, one of the best inns in the whole county. But the landlord is rich and just going to leave off business; so he wants to be thought a gentleman, and will be for giving you his company. Ecod, he'll persuade you that his mother was an alderman, and his aunt a justice of the peace. I'll just step myself, and show you a piece of the way.
[Exeunt.