The Garter Blues
I bought my girl a pair of jeweled garters for Christmas, but now she’s given them to another girl.
Now I know I’ll never see those garters again.
* * *
“A wild woman caused my downfall.”
“How’s that?”
“She tripped me.”
* * *
Now, boys and girls, let’s all sing “I’ve Got the Blues,” in A flat.
* * *
There’s water in the ocean,
There’s water in the sea,
For the last year or two
They’ve been watering me.
* * *
Dear Bill: I don’t feel right; I feel so blue; please write a line and tell me what to do.
Drink ink—makes everything write.
* * *
Mrs. Smith to Mrs. Johnson: “Ain’t it funny what some folks will do to get their name in the paper? Now there’s the Olson family. I see by the Tribune this mornin’ where they’ve got a new baby at their home.”
* * *
Hail, hail, the gang’s all here;
Some liar said I had real beer.
* * *
A wife may be a necessity—another man’s wife is certainly a luxury.
* * *
Virtue is its own reward—and too often its only reward.
* * *