Men
Men are what women marry. They have two feet, two hands, and sometimes two wives, but never more than one collar button, or one idea at a time.
Like Turkish cigarettes, men are all made of the same material, the only difference being that some are a little better distinguished than others.
Generally speaking, they may be divided into three classes, husbands, bachelors, and widowers. Bachelors are a commodity, husbands a necessity, and widowers a luxury, especially when making love.
Arthur Neale’s Page
I took my girl out last night, but when I tried to kiss her she smacked my face and carried on something terrible. When I got back to her house with her again I said: “Katie, what’d you want to lose your head for like that tonight?” She said: “Well, maybe I did lose my head. But I kept my reputation, thank God!”
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