Something to Worry About
In the new Folies Bergere show, Paris, the girlies are clad entirely in paint, news dispatches state.
* * *
“Are your feet insured?” I asked
A dancing girl from France.
No answer. Then she said at last:
“It’s not that kind of dance.”
* * *
In any newspaper you can find pictures of charming women underneath which it reads: “Miss So-and-So, 20 years of age.” (Why do those printers always leave out that word “was”?)
* * *
As I was toying with the N. Y. Coffee Cake in the Times Square Automat the other day, I sighted an old friend I hadn’t seen for several years. I went up to him and said: “Why, Billy, where have you been keeping yourself all these years?” He said: “Well, early in 1914 I went to Paris to study art.” “Is that so?” I said; “and did you get far with your studies?” “Well,” he said, “it was like this. When I arrived there in June, 1914, we began by taking studies from the head. In July it was head and shoulders; and in August, in August that darned war started. Bad luck to the Germans!”
* * *
To make their dresses nowadays,
Girls use a lot of cloth.
But looks as if in future days,
It’s hardship for the moth.
* * *
HE: “I’d be tickled to death to teach you to swim.”
SHE: “I’d be tickled to death if you did.”
* * *
I saw a statue yesterday,
And on the quiet between us,
I think it’s quite correct to say
The lady’s name was Venus.
Unveiled in such and such a year
Was written at the base.
But those who took the veil, ’twas clear,
Did not again replace.
* * *
If she has a past, she needn’t tell—
The girl in a musical show.
But if she possesses a birth-mark as well,
It’s something the whole world will know.
* * *
They say that for a smart, wise lot of lads the New York hotel clerks are hard to beat. But not always. The other day I happened to be in the Astor lobby when a pair of young newlyweds came in from the street. The rice and confetti was still over them for all to see. The happy groom went up to the desk to register. In the course of the conversation I overheard this from the clerk: “Yes, sir; and do you want a room with twin beds?” Can you beat it!
* * *
“To follow horses isn’t right,”
My father always said.
So what I follow every night
Is chickens round instead.
* * *