A Ladies’ Man
Tho I’m growing old and feeble,
And my hair is turning grey;
And my youth has died within me,
And my teeth have passed away—
Tho my strength is fastly failing,
And a hump is on my back;
And my bones are getting stiffer,
And my heart is out of whack—
Every time I go out walking,
Some fair dame is bound to fall,
Nothing in the world can stop them—
I’m a Ladies’ Man—That’s all.
* * *
My friend Wheeler says that many a man who is a good shot in this world hopes he’ll miss-fire in the next.
* * *
Some women allow their husbands to kiss them for sake of contrast.
* * *
Some evening gowns allow a woman to put up a very bold front.
* * *
The proper length for skirts as decreed by fashion is a little over two feet.
* * *
Don’t cry Mary-Anne, and there’s no use to talk,
’Cause this is the time that we’ve both got to walk.
* * *
A man never knows his real value until he’s sued for breach of promise.
Jest Jokes and Jingles
Gertie—“Why don’t you get a husband?”
Sophie—“Not for me, Gert, I’ve a friend who has one.”
* * *