Dead Earnest

I asked a young lady if she would wed,

With a smile in her bright roguish eyes, she said:

“Go ask father.”

Now she knew that I knew

That her father was dead.

And she knew that I knew

Of the life he had led.

So she knew that I knew,

What she meant when she said,

“Go ask father.”

* * *

There was a young gent from Tex

Who made a trip over to Mex,

And when he got back

Forty pints in a sack;

He sold each pint for an X.

* * *

Scented talcum is all right, but hardly a substitute for a bath.

* * *

Here’s that we may swear, steal, and lie;

When we swear may it be by the hand of justice;

When we steal may it be away from bad company;

When we lie may it be in the arms of the one we love best.

* * *