Gone Are the Dog Daze
Squire Green, wealthy Minnesota farmer, had a pedigreed dog, Fido. He read in the Weekly Argus where Professor Dumpey in Minneapolis could operate on a dog and make him talk like a man for a three thousand dollar fee.
The squire shook himself loose from the money and delegated his son, Bycyrus, to take the money and Fido to the miracle professor. Arriving in the city, Bycyrus parked Fido in the hotel and started out to spend the three thousand berries. When he sobered up, he found himself without railroad fare home, so he and Fido started to walk.
At the crossroads he killed Fido.
“Where’s the dog?” the Squire asked.
“Well,” replied Bycyrus, “It was this way: As I was walking home, Fido looked up at me and said: ‘I wonder if your father still goes out with the cook.’ So I killed poor Fido.”
“Bycyrus,” earnestly inquired the Squire, “are you sure that dog is dead?”
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