Pink Pills for Pale People

Lydia Pinkham recently received a love letter from the vegetable compound magnate reading as follows, our correspondents report:

“Do you carrot all for me? My bleeding heart beets for you. My love is as soft as a squash, but as strong as an onion. You are a peach with your radish hair and turnip nose. Your cherry lips and forget-me-not eyes call me. You are the apple of my eye, and if we canteloupe lettuce marry for I am sure we would make a happy pear.”

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