Something to Worry About
The pulse of Napoleon is said to have made only 50 beats a minute.
* * *
According to new regulations in the British army, each soldier in barracks is allowed 600 cubic feet of air space, and if the diet of the British soldier is the same as that of the Yank, the 600 feet is none too much.
Our Rural Mail Box
Dorothy—Your friend has been spoofing you. Beware of freak poker games. If you want to bet, cross the line to Tiajuana.
* * *
George—Stick ’em under the mattress to crease ’em but don’t have the baby in bed.
* * *
Stock Clerk—There is only one sure way of making money following the ponies.
* * *
Madame Bozo—Stout women should not wear tight waists. Sizes up to 48 bust in basement.
* * *
Howsitt Pheal—You won’t mind wearing amber glasses in the Islands, Howsitt, you’ll get color blind anyhow.
* * *
Dottie—When he begins by saying, “Little girl, I’m old enough to be your father”—well, look out!
* * *
George—It is rude for a man to fall asleep while his wife is talking, but a man has to sleep some time.
* * *
Nisbet—You’re like the Scotchman who said “Don’t be backward in coming forward.”
* * *
Luscious Lizzie—It is not considered correct table manners to blow on your coffee to cool it. You had better pour it in your saucer.
* * *
Silas Sawyer—Chewing tobacco is all right in its place. Refrain, however, from using it for decorative purposes.
* * *
Al B. Kirk—A Whuzzat is a trained tobacco-chewing dog employed by the Southern Railway to run alongside of fast express trains to spit on the coach trucks to keep the hot boxes from burning.
* * *
Fat Man—Your meaning is not quite clear. Do I understand you to say you cannot dance except with a concave partner?
* * *
Johnny—I can’t use your story of the stove-pipe. It isn’t clean.
* * *
Sapp—If you want a set of teeth inserted, would advise that you go and kick some cross bull dog.
* * *
Restauranteur—A swell meal would be dried apples and water, and you can get a chicken dinner for ten cents at any feed store.
A Christmas Gift!
Whiz Bang’s greatest book—The Winter Annual Pedigreed Follies of 1921-22—hot off the press. Orders are now being mailed. There will be no delay as long as the supply lasts. If your news stand’s quota is sold out—
PIN A DOLLAR BILL
Or your check, money order or stamps
To the coupon on the opposite page.
And receive our 256-page bound volume of jokes, jests, jingles, stories, pot pourri, mail bag and Smokehouse poetry. The best collection ever put in print.
REMEMBER, FOLK
Last year our Annual (which was only one-fourth as large as the 1921-22 book) was sold out on the Pacific Coast within three or four days, and not a copy could be bought anywhere in the United States within ten days.
So hurry up! First Come will be First Served!
Pin your dollar bill to the coupon and mail to the Whiz Bang Farm, Robbinsdale, Minn.
Don’t write for early back copies of our regular issues.
We haven’t any left.
Our Winter Annual
In addition to republication of gems of earlier issues of Captain Billy’s Whiz Bang, the first complete Winter Annual of this great family journal contains a large variety of brand new jokes, jests, jingles, pot pourri, stories and smokehouse poetry. This book, Pedigreed Follies of 1921-22, contains four times as much reading matter as the regular Issue of the Whiz Bang and sells for one dollar per copy. It is a book which will be cherished by the readers for years to come, and holds the greatest collection of red-blooded poetry yet put in print. Included in the list are:
Johnnie and Frankie, The Face on the Barroom Floor, The Shooting of Dan McGrew, The Harpy, Lasca (in full), The Girl in the Blue Velvet Band, Langdon Smith’s “Evolution,” Advice to Men, Advice to Women, Our Own Fairy Queen, Stunning Percy LaDue, Parody on Kipling’s “The Ladies,” Toledo Slim.
Orders are now being received and will be mailed in the order in which they are received. Tear off the attached blank and mail to us today with your check, money order or stamps.
Whiz Bang,
Robbinsdale, Minnesota.
Gentlemen:
Enclosed is dollar bill, check, money order or stamps for $1.00 for which please send me the Winter Annual of Captain Billy’s Whiz Bang, “Pedigreed Follies of 1921-22.”
Name
Address
Everywhere!
Whiz Bang is on sale at all leading hotels, news stands, 25 cents single copies; on trains 30 cents, or may be ordered direct from the publisher at 25 cents single copies; two-fifty a year.
One dollar for the WINTER ANNUAL.
