The Happy Ham
All smokers are inveterate;
Their vice becomes inured,
Only a ham can smoke and smoke,
And smoking still be cured.
* * *
I kicked a mongrel cur,
He uttered a mournful wail.
Where did I kick him, Sir?
Ah! Thereby hangs a tail.
* * *
The most disgusting sight in the world is to see another fellow in an automobile with your best girl.
* * *
The old inhabitant says, “I kin remember when a young lady passed you, you always could hear the rustle of stiffly starched skirts.”
* * *