It Rained Keys, Bo!
I met a wonderful girl yesterday afternoon, and she invited me up to her apartment. That night she told me to stand in front of the door and whistle three times and she would throw down the key.
Boys, I never saw so many keys in all my life.
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I could print a lot of real funny stories, but what’s the use, you would only laugh at them.
Questions and Answers
Dear Capt. Billy—What is the first thing that turns green in the spring?—Uppan Attim.
Christmas jewelry.
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Dear Captun: My kid brother’s a great chicken chaser. He came home late last night all dizzy; d’you think he was drinkin’ or what’s the matter?—Ida Sinkey.
‘Swimmin’ in the head.
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Dear Whiz Bang Bill—Is there much food values in dates?—Ona Dyett.
It all depends on who you make them with.
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Dear Captain—What is a Sly Oodle?—Nat. U. List.
’Tis a small weasel that sleeps in the crotch of a tree, and swallows its nose to keep it from freezing.
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Dear Capt. Billy—A fellow asked me a funny question the other day. Why is a crow? Seems sort of silly. Do you know the answer?—M. T. Kann.
That’s easy. Caws.
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Dear Captain Billy—What is a Nabisco?—Ray Vaughan.
It consists of two pieces of tissue paper with a little honey between.
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Dear Captain Billy—Would it hurt me to sleep between two windows?—I. Foozle.
You would have a “pane” on the chest and back, and a “catch” on your side.
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Dear Capt. Billy—What is a good name for a new college sorority?—Al E. Wrat.
I. Phelta Thi.
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Dear Capt. Billy—What is a sculptor?—Cant E. Lope.
A man that makes faces and busts.
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Dear Capt. Billy—What is dust?—Hose Ette.
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
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Dear Capt. Billy—Is hair tonic a good drink?—J. Fewbrains.
Would advise you not to drink hair tonic as it will raise a mustache on your appendix and if you should laugh you would tickle yourself to death.
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Dear Farmer Bill—Please inform me where milk comes from.—A City Girl.
From cow faucets.
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Dear Capt. Billy—If my father was a duke and my mother was a duchess, what would that make me?—Watts D. Yoos.
Why, I guess you would be Duke’s Mixture.
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Dear Captain—Tell me something interesting about auction bridge.—Adeline Moore.
All we know about is Brooklyn Bridge, and that is just one long suspense.
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Dear Capn.—What did my beau mean when he told me he would meet me in the future?—Sarah Desert.
Probably he meant in the pasture.
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Dear Capt. Billy—What is a drydock?—Torchy.
A physician who won’t give us prescriptions.
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