THE NOBLEST WORK OF MAN.
[In an article on Animal Training it has been stated that "wolves are so stupid it is a waste of time trying to do anything with them," and that "it is a wonderful tribute to the trainer's skill that he has succeeded in evolving so faithful a companion as the dog from this unpromising material.">[
Full many a time when I've been overwrought,
And all has seemed beset by doubts and fogs,
I have gleaned ample comfort from the thought,
"Nature is kindly; she has given us dogs
To share our griefs with sympathetic eyes
And force us out for healthy exercise."
But, Carlo, I was wrong to take that view;
Nature, though wonderful, does not (I find)
Deserve the credit of evolving you;
A trainer did it, just by being kind;
Your rise from wolfish ancestors you owe
To some primæval impresario.
One sees the scene: how in the bygone days
Our forbears, fresh from bludgeoning their foes,
Would gather round to watch with glad amaze
A wolf who balanced rocks upon his nose.
"How quaint! How human!" thus their praises flowed;
"Look at his ikey way of wearing woad!"
And ever as the long years took their course
The trainer's skill came farther to the front,
Until, through gentleness and moral force,
One wolf achieved the "trust-and-paid-for" stunt.
Topical, this produced unbounded fun,
Coming when commerce had but just begun.
Then cleverer grew the wolflings year by year,
And greater yearly grew the "spot-cash" boon
Given to trainers summoned to appear
And charm a cave-man's idle afternoon,
Till came the whisper, "This is not the least
Bit like a wolf's cub; 'tis a nobler beast."
And thus the dog was born; the gathered crowd
Cheered their approval of this wise remark;
A glad tail wagged its pride, and clear and loud
Rang out the music of the earliest bark,
While envious Nature sighed, "O parlous miss!
I was a silly not to think of this."
Maid at Country Hotel. "Please, sir, will you use the hot water soon as there's an 'ole on the can?"