HOME, CHEAP HOME!
"Thine be a cot beside a hill,"
Hums Mrs. Haweis in our ear;
"Such cots are in the market still,
At only thirty pounds a year.
"Then, as for furnishing the fold,
Another fifty pounds will do it;
But mind you stick to what is old,
Nor carry modern rubbish to it!
"Your chairs must all be Chippendale,
Your tables of the native oak,
Your sofas"—but of what avail!
To further urge this little joke?
For in this cot the chairs may be
Much chipped, but hardly Chippendale,
Unless the lady will agree
To costs "upon the hire scale."
Said a prim Bachelor, in a nasty temper, after a struggle with an ultra-stiffened clean shirt, "I should like to indict my laundress at the Old Bailey, charge her with murdering my linen, and, as evidence, I'd produce the mangled remains in Court."
Mrs. R. has been studying architecture, She says that "all Schoolmasters' Houses ought to be built in the Early Perpendicular Tutor style."