PROFESSOR WHITEWASH'S GUIDE TO HISTORY.
Question. Who was William the Conqueror? Answer. The Managing Director of an Exploration Company composed of the most respectable shareholders.
The Professor.
Q. William Rufus, Henry the First and Richard the First?
A. Rufus, a worthy son of a worthy father; Henry, a scholar, who strongly objected to over-cramming; and Richard, a mild-mannered man, who modestly shrank from canonisation.
Q. And what do you know about King John?
A. That he gave to a grateful country the Magna Charta.
Q. And all the intermediate monarchs' being equally good, what have you to say about King Henry the Eighth?
A. He was a model monarch, and worthy to be the father of Mary and Elizabeth.
Q. How about the Royal ladies you have last mentioned?
A. The first had as large a mind as the other a heart.
Q. What do you think of the Stuart Family?
A. It was famed for its fidelity, trustfulness, and gratitude.
Q. Were William and Mary, and Anne, pleasant Monarchs?
A. Most pleasant. As witty as they were beautiful.
Q. And how about the Georges?
A. All that could be desired—and more. Indeed, all our monarchs have been of the most exemplary character, against whom the most scandal-loving would utter no word of complaint.