BALLADE OF EARLSCOURT.
I've really been extremely gay—
I've done most things (I mean, in reason)—
And, though "it is not always May,"
It has been, during my first season.
At balls and parties I've had fun;
I've listened to Home-Rule disputes;
There's only one thing I've not done—
Alas! I've not been down "the Chutes"!
With screams and laughter from the height
I saw men splash their nice new suits;
It seemed to cause them great delight;
But still—I have not shot the Chutes.
I've been to all the good first nights,
I've cried at Dusé, laughed at Penley,
I have seen all the London sights,
I've been to Sandown, Lord's, and Henley.
At Ibsen I've serenely smiled,
While suff'ring torture from new boots;
Gladstone I've met, and Oscar Wilde—
But ah! I've not been down the Chutes!
Envoi.
Prince, one regret I feel on leaving
For country air, and flowers, and fruits—
I quit gay London only grieving
To think I have not shot the Chutes!
"A deuce of a mess between France and Siam," observed a Bow-window Politician of Clubland. "A deuce of a mess?" repeated the other Bow-window man. "You mean, as far as France is concerned, it's the very Develle!"