COPHETUA, L.C.C.
Mr. Grant Allen charges London with being "a squalid village." Sir Lepel Griffin suggests that the "Postprandial Philosopher" must have been dining badly. He—Sir Lepel—contends that "Like the beggar-maid in Mr. Burne-Jones's picture, London is a beautiful woman, fair of face and noble of form, and only needs the transforming hand of some future King Cophetua to strip her of her sordid rags, and clothe her in the lustrous raiment which befits her." This is what 'Arry would call "the straight Griffin"! By all means make Cophetua Chairman of the London County Council—as soon as you find him! Sir Lepel, instead of joining in the parrot-chorus of disparagement, actually says, "The best hope of the regeneration of London is in the County Council"!!! He thinks "it is a mistake" to distrust them, and would hand over to them (says the Daily Chronicle) most of the machinery and material of our municipal life. Quite so. And as the Gryphon (which is much the same thing as Griffin) said to the Mock Turtle (suggestive this of the Civic Corporation), in Alice in Wonderland, Punch would say to Sir Lepel or his problematic Cophetua, "Drive on, old fellow! Don't be all day about it!"
When Alice ventured to say she had never heard of "Uglification," the Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. "What! Never heard of uglifying!" it exclaimed. "You know what to beautify is, I suppose?"—"Yes," said Alice, doubtfully; "it means—to—make—anything—prettier."—"Well, then," the Gryphon (who must have been a Postprandial Philosopher, surely) went on, "if you don't know what to uglify is, you must be a simpleton."
By the way, why should not Sir Lepel himself essay the rôle of King Cophetua, L.C.C., and help to beautify the modern Babylonian beggar-maid? He says that "the general administration of London is infinitely mean and inefficient," adding that "vested interests are chiefly to blame for the national disgrace." Very well. Let Sir Lepel help to give those same Vested Interests "vun in the veskit," squelch the Jerry Builder, and arrest the march of "Uglification," and then—why then London will, as in duty bound, erect his statue in place, and on the site of, that other, and very different "Griffin," which is the very incarnation of Uglification, and material embodiment of Bœotian Bumbledom!
Not the Girl for Hot Weather.—One who "makes sunshine in a shady place."