LITTLE BILL-EE.
(Latest House of Lords' Version of Thackeray's Song.)
There were three sailors of London City,
Who took a boat and went to sea:
There was guzzling Bob and gorging Harty,
And the youngest—he was Little Bill-ee!
Poor Little Bill-ee was but a sailor-boy,
And a very hard time in sooth had he.
With a rope's-end he was fully familiar,
And a marline-spike he shuddered to see.
He had sailed in the ship of one Captain Willyum.
Who had taught him sailing, and algebree,
The use of the sextant, and navigation,
Likewise the hornpipe, and fiddle-de-dee.
The Captain's pet for a long, long voyage
Had been this sailor-boy Little Bill-ee;
Though some of the crew of the same were jealous,
And larruped him sore—on the strict Q.T.
But being paid off from Willyum's wessel,
The kid was kidnapped, and taken to sea
By guzzling Bob and gorging Harty,
Who had long had their eye on poor Little Bill-ee.
For guzzling Bob hated Captain Willyum,
While gorging Harty—well, there, you see,
He'd been Willyum's mate, but had cut the connection,
And he couldn't abide poor Little Bill-ee.
* * * * *
Poor Little Bill-ee, he shrank and shuddered
At going aboard; for he says, says he—
"When they get me aloft they will spifflicate me,
And there'll be an end of poor little Bill-ee!"
Which same seemed a sad foregone conclusion,
Though Captain Willyum he skipped with glee,
And cried, "Little Bill-ee, keep up your pecker!
You shall yet be the Captain of a Seventy-three!"
* * * * *
Now, to keep up your pecker with naught to peck at
Is mighty hard, as a fool may see;
And Bob and Harty (who loved not short commons)
Cast eager eyes upon Little Bill-ee.
Says guzzling Bob to gorging Harty,
"I am extremely hungaree;"
To guzzling Bob says gorging Harty,
"Let's make a breakfast of Little Bill-ee.
"He's got no friends—that are worth the mention;
He'll never be missed by his countaree,
He is a noosance, he'll be a riddance,
And we'll both get thanked for devouring he."
To guzzling Bob says gorging Harty,
"On this here pint we both agree—
This precious Bill must be spifflicated,
And we're both hungry, so let's eat he!"
* * * * *
"Oh, Bill-ee! we're going to kill and eat you,
So undo the button of your chemie!"
When Bill received this information,
He used his pocket-handkerchie.
First let me say my Apologia,
Which Capting Willyum taught to me!
"Make haste, make haste!" says gorging Harty,
While Bob pulled out his snickersee.
* * * * *
It's "a norrible tale," and I scarce feel equal
To telling it all as 'twas told to me.
Some other day you may learn the sequel
Of the sorrowful story of Little Bill-ee!
