THE INFANT PHENOMENON.
Little Jap lecturing on the Art of War to the European Representatives.
When the song said Jap Ah Sid was just nothing but a kid
Of what Alcock dubbed "a race grotesque and savage,"
The Wise West had not a notion of the kick-up and commotion,
The naval noise and military ravage,
That same "little kid" would raise; of the pæans of loud praise
The Wise Boy of the East would hear around him.
A pupil of the West he was held, but, upon test,
A teacher, in his way, the West has found him.
Phenomenal young Jappy, Occidental Powers seem happy
To gather round and watch the object lesson
In the wicked Art of War, seeing proof you've carried far
In matters which before we might but guess on.
If a kid, he's not a fool! With his ferula and stool,
His blackboard and his lump of chalk, he's showing
How to work an ironclad! It's amazing that a lad
With a lemon-face should be so wondrous knowing!
He'll teach you to work as he does in the matter of torpedoes,
And how to blow a rival fleet to blazes.
In naval matters practical, strategical and tactical,
The nipper shows a nous that almost dazes.
Though his names and terms sound funny, it is more than even money,
That he hides a lot of wisdom in his lingo.
And what matter baggy breeches, and a speech all "his" and "ichis,"
If this "Boy" can give the Chinese Giant stingo?
His phiz looks flat and pasty, and his head-gear's hardly tasty,
And his eyes are like black-beetles set a-swivel.
But though plain or currant-bunny, and the colour of fresh honey,
He's as full as Hadésu of dash and "divil."
See, those eyes are all a-twinkle! Like the sudu-mushi's tinkle
Fall his accents very suave, but full of gumption;
And you'll hardly now find any to retort, "Oh, teach your granny!"
Or to twit the "little kid" with youth's presumption.
For the stalwart Teuton listens, and the Great Bear's optic glistens,
And the "Melican" "lays low and don't say nuffin',"
Save to whisper to John Bull, "He's no mug, by a jug-full,
Who out of the Chinee has knocked the stuffin'!
Infant phenomenon? Wal, I rayther guess he's gone
And chalked it out a caution. He's a spry 'un!"
And John Bull, who'll have to strain to keep monarch of the main,
Thinks the infant Jap a chap to keep his eye on!
