THE JAP IN THE CHINA SHOP; OR, THE NEW "OPEN SESAME."
["China, properly opened up, would be an El Dorado for mankind.... The true conquest effected by the war is the conquest of the right to a market, and that apparently on an enormous scale."
"Daily News" on the terms of Peace between China and Japan.]
Little Jap loquitur:—
Come, wake up, old chap! I'm the go-ahead Jap.
Open Sesame! Yes, that's the word, John!
In your den you would stop, or e'en shut up your shop,
Your proceedings are highly absurd, John!
Spite your bounce and your boast, I have got you on toast,
And thereby, friend John, hangs a big tale.
When your carcase I'd wake, I have only to take
A sailor's round turn at your pigtail!
Your notion of shopkeeping's shutter and key.
Since you don't know their use, hand 'em over to Me!
For thousands of years your pride and your fears
Have muddled your market completely.
Ah! would you, old slug? But a twist and a tug
Bring you up to your bearings most sweetly.
'Tis no use to kick! You will have to move slick,
Now you've got in the hands of Young Jappy;
Don't you get in a scare for your crockery ware.
Rouse up, open shop, and be happy!
Afraid? Superstitious? Oh, fiddle-de-dee!
Throw open your markets, and leave it to Me!
For ever so long you've been going all wrong.
Your Empire is under a shadow;
But well opened up, by ships, railways, and Krupp,
It will turn out a true El Dorado.
Don't fly to your door! Eh? your pigtail is sore?
You think me a cocky invader?
Why you'll find in the end I'm your very best friend,
When I force you to be a free trader.
Blow your grandfather's bunkum, you Heathen Chinee!
Take down all your shutters, and hand me the key!
For my use alone? you inquire with a groan.
Oh, dear! you must be an old duffer!
Excuse me this wink,—but what do you think?
Do you hold "Outside Devils" will suffer
The Flowery Land to be locked by my hand,
Any more than by yours, in their faces?
Pig-headed old Pigtail, I fancy I know
How to get into Europe's good graces.
So pay up my millions, you Heathen Chinee!
Throw open your market, and hand me the key!