THE WOULD-BE SOLDIER'S VADE MECUM.
Question. Why did you become a member of a Volunteer corps?
Answer. With the intention of strengthening our national defences.
Q. Then you think such a proceeding patriotic?
A. Not only patriotic, but necessary.
Q. You probably have some recollection of the French collapse in 1870-71?
A. Yes; but I have been chiefly influenced by considerations of a mathematical character.
Q. Make your meaning plainer.
A. I mean that it stands to reason that as only a small percentage of our people are trained to arms, and ninety-six per cent of our neighbours are converted into soldiers, the latter, in the case of a quarrel with us, would have the upper hand.
Q. And you think a quarrel entailing the arbitration of the sword might be sprung upon us at any moment?
A. Precisely; that is entirely my opinion.
Q. And, consequently, you take a serious view of Volunteering?
A. Assuredly, or I would not give up most of my leisure time to master drill in all its branches.
Q. Do you obtain any social advantages by wearing the uniform of a Volunteer?
A. No; on the contrary, the grade of a private in the long run causes considerable expense; and the commission of an officer is inseparable from large expenditure and a loss of self-respect.
Q. Why is the holding of a commission of a Volunteer officer "inseparable from a loss of self-respect"?
A. Because, in the general estimation, the holder of a commission in the Volunteers is worthy of ridicule, pity, or contempt.
Q. Can you give the reason for this impression?
A. It is probable that it has been created by the consideration that a Volunteer officer is chaffed by his friends, sneered at by his enemies, and mulcted of much money by his comrades.
Q. Then a Volunteer officer or private usually joins the force from the most patriotic of motives?
A. Certainly. Nine-tenths of the rank and file and their commanding officers wish to qualify as soldiers capable of repelling a foreign invasion.
Q. And this being so, they do not wish to spend three or four days of training in practising "marches past" and other manœuvres of a more or less ornamental character?
A. Quite so; not even when the practice terminates with a review in a royal park, and a salute performed to the strains of the National Anthem.
Q. Nor do the Volunteers desire to be made into a raree show?
A. Not even to make a cockney Bank Holiday.
Q. And if you are told that this is the sort of thing that the Volunteers want, what do you reply?
A. Nonsense.
Q. And if it were added that more serious work would be unpopular, what would be your suggestion?
A. Try and see.
Mem. for Vetoists.—It is the question of "tied" houses which makes the compensation question so knotty.