ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Monday, April 22.—Easter holidays over; school back; new master in charge; process of installation a little lacking in pomp and circumstance. This due in large measure to incidence of holiday. At Westminster, as at other schools, boys don't insist, vi et armis, on returning on the opening day. Wide gaps on most of the benches; Front Opposition Bench a wilderness. Prince Arthur and all his merrie men abstained from lending to installation of new Speaker the grace and comfort of their presence.
"It is quite true, dear boy," Prince Arthur said, when I gently hinted that the Leader of Opposition should have been present on such occasion, "that when our man was defeated I said, Mr. William Court Gully having been elected by a majority of the House, is representative of the whole House. But it's a long name, you know, and in ordinary practice I must stop short at William. You can't expect me to Court Gully."
Amid depressing circumstances as far as attendance went, new Speaker bore himself faultlessly. Quick-change process watched with breathless interest from Ladies' Gallery. First, Speaker-Elect, preceded by Mace, entered, attired in Court dress with close-fitting bob-wig. At summons of Black Rod, proceeded to House of Lords; placed at Bar in custody of Black Rod and Sergeant-at-Arms; not even "accommodated with a chair." There to receive Her Majesty's sanction of choice of Speaker made by Commons. Happened that the Queen couldn't come. One of the cloaked and wigged figures on Woolsack mentioned the matter in charmingly casual way.
"It not being convenient for Her Majesty to be personally present at this time," said a voice which bewrayed the Lord Chancellor, "a Commission has been issued under the Grand Seal empowering the Lords named therein to convey Royal Assent to Commons' selection of Speaker."
Lord Chancellor quite friendly with Speaker-Elect, whom he familiarly addressed as "Mr. Gully." Spoke highly of his talents, diligence, and sufficiency to fulfil important duties to which it had pleased majority of Commons to call him. Said he had made it all right with the Queen, and that William Court might go back to Commons, and get about his business. Speaker, not to be outdone in geniality, begged his anonymous friend, one of five muffled up in scarlet gowns, in the event of any mess being made with matters in the other House, to impute the blame to him alone, and let the other fellows go scot-free.
Amongst crowd of Commoners clustered behind Speaker there was scarcely a dry eye when this noble sentiment was uttered.
"Solong!" said the voice that was certainly the Lord Chancellor's. Taking this as hint to retire, Speaker withdrew from the Bar, and left the House "Without a stain on his character," as the Earl of Cork and Orrery handsomely said. Returned to Commons in procession, with Mace lightly but firmly carried by Sergeant-at-Arms. Instead of taking Chair, marched round by passage to the rear, disappeared from view. Consternation in Strangers' Gallery.
"He's bolted!" one gentleman whispered to his neighbour. "Funked it when the music stopped and he came to the hosses."
After few moments of growing uneasiness, a fine figure, in full-bottomed wig, silken gown, beneath which silver-buckled shoes shimmered, emerged from behind Speaker's Chair, and seated itself in it. "Order! Order!" said a full, pleasant voice; and William Court Gully entered upon what promises to be a prosperous and distinguished career.
Sark tells me that, on going into Committee of Supply, he intends to move that henceforward the gallery over the Clock facing the Chair shall be called "The Speaker's Gullery." Sark always thinks of the right thing at the right time.
Business done.—New Speaker installed.
Tuesday.—The Order by which Ministers took Tuesdays having lapsed, private Members to-night came into their own again. Always stoutly resist incursion of greedy Governments on their small possessions. Might reasonably be supposed that, having come into their inheritance, would have made most of it. Lots of things to do to-night. Several resolutions on paper, with Orders of Day to follow. What happened was that by a quarter to nine enthusiasm finally evaporated; count called; only thirty-seven Members responded; lights forthwith put out.
Opening debate on Charity Commission certainly a little heavy. Every Member who got his chance felt it incumbent on him to speak for at least half an hour. Some considerably exceeded this limit.
"Parturiunt montes," said Herbert Maxwell, wearily looking round as Griffith-Boscawen followed John Ellis and Jesse Collings succeeded Francis Stevenson; "nascitur ridiculus mus."
And so it was. Particular mountain at work when the mouse appeared was J. W. Lowther. Mouse entered from behind Speaker's Chair; leisurely proceeded along passage between Front Opposition Bench and table at which J. W. was speaking disrespectfully of Jesse Collings. Halted by Prince Arthur's empty seat; nibbled fibre of matting in remonstrance at his absence; passed round fearlessly by J. W.'s heels; sat for moment in full view of House listening attentively to J. W.'s argument; yawned and sauntered back the way it came. Interest in debate evidently keener than that of average Member. As soon as Acland's voice reverberated through almost empty Chamber, mouse observed strolling back along familiar way; took its seat on floor under shadow of Mace in defiance of all Parliamentary rule; followed Acland's argument with evidently keen interest. Interrupted by approach of Richard Temple. Quickly looking up and catching sight of his stately figure bowing to Speaker, mouse fled like the wind, in its terror making off by Treasury Bench, finally escaping by another exit.
"Cogitato" said Herbert Maxwell, who breakfasts every morning off a plate of porridge and a page of Plautus,—
"Cogitato, mus pusillus quam sit sapiens bestia,
Ætatem qui uni cubili nunquam committit suam."
Business done.—Pension of £4,000 a year voted to Arthur Wellesley Peel, late Speaker.
Fancy Picture of Sir Thomas Esmonde bringing forward Queen "Lily o' Killarney" Hawaii.
Thursday.—All very well for gay young Irish baronet like Esmonde to champion cause of errant Queens throned in summer seas. Expected other things from The MacGregor. House quite shocked when he interposed just now. Esmonde asked Edward Grey whether Government could do anything to obtain proper treatment for Queen of Hawaii. Before Under Secretary could reply, The MacGregor, suddenly leaping across dyke as it were, interposed. "As I happen to know the lady who was formerly Queen of Hawaii," said The MacGregor, and so proceeded to back up Esmonde's plea. Offhand way in which reference was made suggested illimitable possibilities, The MacGregor just "happened to know" this Queen, probably one of a bevy. On some quiet night House might hope to hear paper read by The MacGregor on "Queens I Have Known."
Sark curiously anxious as to where the acquaintance was made, and how it was nurtured. Did The MacGregor vaccinate Her Majesty whilst he, still in public capacity, sojourned at Penrith? Was she an inmate of Peebles Hydropathic Institute what time he was resident physician? or did he minister to her at the Barnhill Hospital and Asylum, Glasgow, of which, before he took to Imperial politics, he was superintendent? Pleasanter still to think of The MacGregor and the Queen with the musical name wandering hand in hand amid the orange groves of sea-girt Hawaii, breakfasting on the bountiful bread-fruit, lunching off the succulent yam. Did he in those days call her so much as Liliuokalani? or did he venture on the diminutive Lili? Sark had better give notice of these questions. Business done.—Fresh Ministerial Bills brought in with both hands.
Friday.—Another private Members' night, and, by consequence, another count out. Things kept going till a quarter to eight, but only with utmost difficulty. Members consented to stay in prospect of division on Albert Rollit's motion protesting against exemption of Government property from rating. But they would not longer linger. When Lubbock followed, with proposal of pleasant chat about London's share of imperial contribution to local purposes, the few remaining Members, vainly trying to look as if they'd be "back in ten minutes," walked out. House counted; only twenty-five present, and so home to dinner.
"Yes, yes," said Walter Long, left in charge of Front Opposition Bench, "but this won't prevent us on Monday, when Squire of Malwood proposes to take Tuesday and Friday mornings for public business, stubbornly resisting piratical incursion on the rights of private Members. Whatever we are, let us be logical."
Business done.—Ministerial defeat on Rollit's amendment averted by majority of one.