IVORY.
O, chiefly procured by a fate that is harshish
From ponderous pachyderms' innocent shapes!
O, shipped of old time by the navies of Tarshish
For Solomon's court and the wondering gapes
Of Jerusalem's Great Age,
The invoice for freightage
Including some items of peacocks and parcels of apes!
O exquisite surface of Orient idols!
O, hewn by the workmen of cunning Cathay
For the sword-hilts of kings and their saddles and bridles!
O, carved for Athene! O, chosen to-day
For the match now proceeding
Betwixt those two leading
And infantile billiard antagonists, Newman and Gray!
O, how shall I sing of thee, loved of immortals?
Remember what breaks of thy boon have been born?
Or describe how the dreams that go out at thy portals
Are true by the test of the amethyst morn,
Whilst the hopes that encumber
Our profitless slumber
Fare forth through the bonzoline exit—I should say the horn?
Shall I ask why it is that the sagest of mammals
Is toothed with such splendour, for woo or for weal,
As compared with giraffes or hyenas or camels
Or wombats? Why man, when he falls to a meal,
Can suffer no tusk-ache
From marmalade plus cake
To rival the infinite sorrows that Hathis may feel?
These things I might prate of and should do with pleasure
Except that they're far from the point of my song,
Which is aimed at a dental adornment, a treasure
Unheard of as yet by the ignorant throng,
But an ivory fairer,
More fleckless and rarer,
Than ever was looted by trader from elephant's prong.
For I care not for elephants, no, not a particle;
Sorrows they have, but they cause me no ruth;
And a fig for their tushes! I mentioned the article
Merely to lead you along to the truth,
To the fact of all wonder,
Our baby (no blunder—
You can not only feel, you can see it) has cut his first tooth.
Evoe.