HOME HELPS FOR NON-COMBATANTS.
The Army and Navy Exemptions Supply Association, Limited, offer facilities for the evasion of military service.
Ladies supplied to act as Widowed Stepmothers to young Slackers.
Gentlemen not desirous of serving should inspect one of our Bijou Residences. Bath (h. and c.); rent inclusive. District enjoys best water supply and most lenient Exemption Tribunal in the Home Counties.
Persons requiring the Loan of Children may obtain these useful aids to exemption in lots of not less than half-a-dozen (mixed), by the day, week, or month, as desired.
FLAT FOOT IN TWELVE DAYS! A GENUINE DISCOVERY.
Gentlemen wishing to acquire this useful impediment may do so with secrecy and despatch on application (with fee). No permanent disability need be feared, a certain cure being guaranteed within one calendar month after date of signing peace, upon payment of a further fee.
LEARN TO FAINT.
One Correspondence Course will teach you this useful art in two and a half lessons.
Do you want not to go to the Front? Then try our Little White Liver Pills and you will never have another worry. Dose: One, once. Sold everywhere.
HOW TO LOOK OLD. A USEFUL WRINKLE.
No more worry. No matter how youthful your appearance, in Ten Minutes we can make you look
As Grey as Grandpa.
Call and inspect our appliances. They will convince you.
Are you a Man of Genius? And young? And in perfect health? We will see that you are saved for your country. In the words of one of our exempted clients:—
"For why should youth aglow with gifts divine
Be driven forth to glut the foreign swine?"
