THE BENEFITS OF PEACE

(as they appear to be viewed by certain unofficial guardians of public morality).

When Peace superseded the strife and the stress

Which the public regard as a gift for the Press,

It was feared in the quiet that followed the storm,

With nothing to do but retrench and reform,

That the Town would be painted a colourless tint

And the printers have nothing exciting to print.

That fear was unfounded, I'm happy to say,

And red is the dominant tone of to-day;

So far from incurring a shortage of news

While the place is made fit for our heroes to use,

We cannot remember a rosier time;

We have rarely enjoyed such an orgy of crime.

There are scandals as nice for the reader to nose

As any old garbage of carrion crows;

Our mystery-mongers are full of resource;

There's a bigamy boom and a vogue of divorce;

To the licence of flappers we freely allude,

And we do what we can with the cult of the nude.

No, the War isn't missed; there's a murrain of strikes

Where a paper can take any side that it likes;

We are done with denouncing the filth of the Bosch,

But we still have our own dirty linen to wash;

Though we trade with the brute as a man and a brother,

Our Warriors still can abuse one another.

And if spicier features incline to be slack

There is always the Chief of the State to attack;

We have standing instructions to cake him with mud

And a couple of columns reserved for his blood.

Oh, yes, there is Peace, but our property thrives—

We are having, I tell you, the time of our lives.

O.S.