ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
Ko-ko (Sir Gordon Hewart). "Pardon me, but there I am adamant."
Monday, February 16th.—The great Auckland still reposes a touching faith in the Profiteering Act. In his opinion it "has had a stabilising effect on the price of clothing;" by which he means, I suppose, that West-End tailors long ago nailed their high prices to the mast-head.
In commending the Bill for the continuance of D.O.R.A., a remanet from last Session, the Attorney-General was almost apologetic. He laid much stress upon the "modest and attenuated form" which the measure now presented, and the short time it was to remain in force. Serious objection was taken by the Irish Members to the provision that in districts where a proclamation is in force the D.O.R.A. regulations, instead of coming to an end on August 31st, will continue for a year after the end of the War. This they naturally interpreted as a means of continuing the military government of Ireland, a country in which, according to Mr. Devlin, the Government had as much right as the Germans in Belgium. The House, however, seemed to agree with the Irish Attorney-General that in the present state of Ireland it would not be wise to dispense with the regulations, and gave the Bill a second reading by 219 votes to 61.
Then the House turned to the discussion of the levy on capital. The Chancellor of the Exchequer was still inexorably opposed to a general levy, but would like a toll on war-wealth alone, and proposed to set up a Committee to consider whether it was practicable. Mr. Adamson frankly declared that the Labour Party was in favour of a capital levy, but wanted to get at the war-profits first. Mr. Chamberlain objected to widening the scope of the inquiry on the ground that it would take too long, and also that uncertainty would promote extravagance and discourage saving. And, despite Lieut.-Commander Kenworthy's naïve suggestion that we should restore credit by making a bonfire of paper-money—he did not say whose—the House agreed with the Chancellor.
COLONEL AMERY CRUSOE RETURNS FROM A SUCCESSFUL DAY WITH HIS MAN FRIDAY.
Tuesday, February 17th.—The Acting Colonial Secretary bubbled over with delight as he described the success of the operations against the Somaliland dervishes. The principal credit was due to the Royal Air Force, but the native levies had also done their part effectively. The only fly in Colonel Amery's ointment was the escape of that evasive gentleman, the Mullah, to whom he was careful on this occasion not to apply the epithet "Mad." As, however, the Mullah has lost all his forces, all his stock and all his belongings, it is hoped that it will be at any rate some time before he pops up again.
The Coal Mines Bill was wisely entrusted to Mr. Bridgeman. Lord Spencer once delighted the House of Commons by announcing that he was "not an agricultural labourer"; and Mr. Bridgeman similarly put it in a good temper by admitting that he had never himself worked in a mine. But he showed quite a sufficient acquaintance with his subject, and succeeded in dispelling some of the fog that enshrouds the figures of coal-finance. The miners, of course, objected to the Bill on the ground that it was not nationalisation, but were left in a very small minority.
A Private Members' debate on the Housing Problem occupied the evening. There was much friendly criticism of the Minister of Health, for whom Major Lloyd Greame suggested a motto from the Koran:—
"This life is but a bridge;
Let no man build his house upon it."
But the lapse of time is gradually bringing performance nearer to promise, and Dr. Addison was able to announce that over one hundred thousand houses were now "in the tender stage." Let us hope no bitter blast will nip them in the bud.
Wednesday, February 18th.—The Lords returned to work after their week's holiday in a rather gloomy mood. By some occult process of reasoning Lord Parmoor has convinced himself that the distress in Central Europe is largely the fault of the Peace Conference. He was supported by Lord Bryce, who declared that the "Big Four" approached the business of Treaty-making in a German rather than an English spirit (which sounds as if he thought they never meant to keep it), and by Lord Haldane, who, more suo, accused the negotiators of having shown "no adequate prevision." Lord Crawford dealt pretty faithfully with the cavillers and pointed out that this country had already spent twelve millions on relieving European distress, and was prepared to spend nearly as much again when the United States was ready to co-operate; but at present, he reminded them, that country was still in a state of war with Germany.
The one bright spot of the sitting was Lord Hylton's statement that the National Debt, which was within a fraction of eight thousand millions on December 31st, had since been reduced by eighty-five millions. The pace is too good to last, but it is something to have made a start.
For nearly four years we have been anxiously waiting to know what really did happen at the battle of Jutland. The voluminous efforts of Admirals and journalists have failed to clear up the mystery, and even Commander Carlyon Bellairs has not satisfied everybody so completely as himself that his recent work reveals the truth. But now the official history is on the eve of publication and Mr. Long no longer feels it necessary to keep the secret. Here it is in his own words: "The moral of the German fleet was very seriously shaken." What a relief!
It seems that the Turks were informed in advance of the intention of the Peace Conference to let them stay at Constantinople in the hope that they would forthwith abandon their sanguinary habits. Instead of which they appear to have said to themselves, "What a jolly day! Let us go out and kill something—Armenians for choice." So now a further message has been sent to them to the effect that the new title to the old tenement is not absolute but conditional, and that one of the covenants forbids its use as a slaughterhouse.
Mr. Austen Chamberlain (as Sidesman). "The threepenny-bit is economical, perhaps; but a desirable coin, from my point of view, it is not."
A modest little Bill empowering the Mint to manufacture coins worth something less than their weight in silver aroused the wrath of Professor Oman. The last time, according to his account, that the coinage was thus debased was in the days of Henry VIII., whose views both on money and matrimony were notoriously lax. Other Members were friendly to the project, and Mr. Dennis Herbert, in the avowed interest of churchwardens, urged the Government to seize the opportunity to abolish the threepeeny-bit, the irreducible minimum of "respectable" almsgiving. The Chancellor of the Exchequer, however, stoutly championed the elusive little coin, for which he declared there was "an immense demand."
On Captain Hambro's motion deploring the action of certain trade-unions in refusing to admit ex-Service men to their ranks the Labour Party heard some very straight talking. The whips of Lady Bonham-Carter at Paisley were nothing to the scorpions of ex-Private Hopkinson, who has actually been fined at the instance of the trade-unions because he insisted upon employing some of his old comrades-in-arms.
Mr. Sexton's rather maladroit attempt to shift the blame on to the employers only deepened the impression that trade-unionism is developing into a system of caste, in which certain occupations are reserved for certain people. Only an elect bricklayer, for example, may lay bricks—though anybody can heave them—and the mere fact that a man has shouldered a rifle in the service of his country in no way entitles him to carry a hod.
Thursday, February 19th.—The impending advent of a Home Rule Bill is greatly perturbing the little remnant of Irish Nationalist Members, threatened with the extinction of their pet grievance. Although but seven in number they made almost noise enough for seventy. Question-time was punctuated with their plaints. The Chief Secretary did his best to soothe them, but his remark that "no man in Ireland need be in prison if he will obey the law" poured oil on the flames.
Despite the reduction of the Question-ration from eight to four per Member, the House collectively grows "curiouser and curiouser." This is partly due to the popularity of Premier-baiting, now to be enjoyed on Mondays and Thursdays. In future, Members are to be further restricted to three Questions per diem; but no substantial relief is to be hoped for until the House sets up its own censorship, with power to expunge all Questions that are trivial, personal or put for purposes of self-advertisement. Not many—a dozen or two daily, perhaps—would survive the scrutiny.