ITEMS FROM ANYWHERE.
(After the model of most of the dailies, by our specially unreliable news service.)
It is reported that, owing to the present high price of labour, a German Zeppelin is to be loaned to the Government to carry out the demolition of the nineteen unnecessary City churches.
Arrested on a charge of loitering with felonious intent, Thomas Wrott, aged forty, of Featherleigh, Beds, stated that he was building a house.
Though the titles of all the pictures in a recent Vorticist exhibition were placed by a printer's error opposite to the wrong numbers in the catalogue, none of the visitors discovered the mistake.
Strike action is threatened in Manchester by the Amalgamated Society of Tyldesleys, several Lancashire wickets having been taken by non-union labour.
It is reported that Lord Fisher was recently traversing The Times with a belt of Biblical sentences when a cross-feed occurred, causing the action to jam.
A silver salver is to be presented to the Royal Automobile Club in token of gratitude by octogenarian villagers of Sussex.
"Experienced Cook-General Wanted; comfortable home; liberal outings; wages £40; policeman handy."—Welsh Paper.
Would it not have been more tactful to say, "Copper in kitchen"?
Disgusted Plutocrat (to partner, who has just missed a fifty-pound putt). "Couldn't you see that slope after I pointed it out to YOU?"
Partner. "After you'd done waving those diamonds about I couldn't see anything."