TO THE NEW POLICEMAN.
["Increased remuneration is attracting to the force a more intellectual and better class of recruit.... Police administration here is now organised in a more humanitarian spirit than formerly, and a policeman is as much encouraged to prevent the necessity of an arrest as to effect an arrest."—Sir William Gentle (retiring chief of the Brighton Police Force, unofficially known as "Sir William Gentle's Gentlemen"), interviewed by "The Daily Sketch.">[
O Robert, in our hours of crime
Certain to nab us every time,
Or, failing, fill a dungeon cell
With someone who does just as well;
Now you're a gentleman in blue
Provided with a princely screw,
More is expected of you still;
You must prevent us doing ill.
No longer is it deemed enough
To slip the hand within the "cuff,"
To trap road-hogs and motor-bikes,
Or merely to arrest Bill Sikes.
Thus, when you take position at
The window of an empty flat,
And Bill arrives to burgle it,
Urge him his evil ways to quit;
Or, posted in a public bar,
Where men drink too much beer by far,
Before them you might firmly put
The arguments of Pussyfoot;
Or, summoned to a scene of strife,
Persuade the fellow with the knife
By means of tactful reasoning
That murder is not quite the thing.
The world would profit if you took
A leaf from out the Parson's book,
Becoming a judicious blend
Of "guide, philosopher and friend."
Discard your truncheon for a tract;
Strive to admonish ere you act;
In Virtue's force enrol recruits
And stamp out Belial with your boots.