THE END OF THE SEASON.
The letters of the alphabet were talking.
"It's been a wonderful season," said S. "I 'm very proud of it."
"Yes," said C; "I don't suppose so much interest was ever taken in cricket before. The number of people able to spend time at a match has been the greatest ever known."
L agreed. "Even on the middle days of the week," he said, "Lord's has been packed."
"Lord's, forsooth!" O struck in. "Lord's has been empty compared with the Oval. The Ovalites have lost no opportunity of watching their heroes."
"When you say 'their heroes' you mean also mine," said H. "But they are not confined to the Oval. I have some at Lord's too; in fact, all over the country. It has been, all the best critics say, an H year." He ticked them off on his fingers. "For Surrey, Hobbs and Hitch; for Middlesex, Hendren and Hearne; for Yorkshire, Hirst and Holmes; for Notts, Hardstaff; for Kent, Hardinge and Hubble; for Worcestershire, Howell. And four of them," he added, "are going to play for England in Australia. It's a feather in my cap, I can tell you," H went on. "And I needed the encouragement too. No one is treated so badly as I am, especially in London, where I'm being dropped all day long or forced into company which I don't care about. Isn't that true?"
"Not 'arf!" said C, who is a good deal of a Cockney.
"There!" said H with a sigh, "I told you so."
"There's no doubt that our friend the aspirate has done it this year," said T; "but some of us are not downhearted. Look at all my Tyldesleys."
"We're quite willing to look at them," said C, "but don't ask us to count them. Meanwhile what about my Cook in the same county? And good old hard-working Coe and Cox?"
"Yes," said L, "and what about Lancashire itself—almost at the top of the tree? And Lee of Middlesex? H may have the greatest number of heroes, but we're not to be sneezed at. And even his wonderful Hobbs couldn't win the championship. It rested between M and me. I'm proud to be M's next-door neighbour."
"It's been a great season for me," said M. "I admit to being nervous on the second day of the last great match, but all's well now. What a game that was! And it's not only of Middlesex that I'm proud; if you glance at the batting averages you will notice Mead not a great way removed from the top; and Makepeace not far below him, and I hold Murrell in special esteem."
"Yes," said R, "and if you continue to look you will find Rhodes at the head of the bowling, and Rushby and Richmond in honourable places, and the steady Russell with over two thousand runs to his name. There are also two brothers named Relf. Good heavens, the H's aren't everything!"
"He doesn't claim, I hope," B struck in, "that Brown begins with H, or Bowley, or Bat or Ball or Bails?"
"Nor," said S, "that Sandham and Sutcliffe and Stevens and Seymour and the gallant little Strudwick (who, like all wicket-keepers, is so liable to be overlooked) never existed? Not to mention my latest recruit, Mr. Skeet? Some letters can be too haughty and—"
"Grasping," said G. "But all of you must be careful of me. I carry big Gunns."
THE HAPPY WARRIOR.
With Mr. Punch's compliments to Mr. "Plum" Warner.
"Although I'm not too prominent," said F, "I've got a very dangerous bowler and hitter and captain in Fender, to say nothing of two Freemen and a 'Fairy.' And during the season C.B. Fry bobbed up once to some purpose."
I asked one or two of the letters to explain their silence.
"Well," said Z, "cricket has never interested me. But then my range is very narrow."
"And mine's even narrower," sighed X.
"If it weren't for Quaife," said Q, "I should be in despair and play nothing but a quiet game of quoits now and again."
"H may have that long string," said W, "but he breaks down badly here and there. Where's his six-foot-six left-handed bowler and bat? He hasn't got one. I have, though, in Woolley. And where's his master of the game, practical and theoretical, in a harlequin cap? The wisest captain any county ever had and the most enthusiastic and stimulating? In short, where is H's P.F. Warner, whom we're all so sorry to lose, but who had such a glorious farewell performance? Where? Ha!"
"I claim a share in the Middlesex captain," said P proudly. "For is he not a Plum? I hate to see him go, but I shall not be fruitless; look how Peach is coming along."
"And who owns the All-English Captain, I should like to know?" said the deep voice of D. "Not to mention a Denton and a Durston and a Dolphin and a Dipper. It is something to own a Dean; it is more to possess a Ducat."
"Isn't life going to be very dull for all of you till next May?" I asked.
"Oh, no," said A, who hitherto had not spoken. "We're going to follow the English team's doings in Australia. And won't it be A1 when they bring back the Ashes?"
"Absolutely," I agreed.
E.V.L.